THE MIND MELDING WITH THE MEDIA
I saw and heard many things that I spoke to no one about except my wife, because they simply sounded too crazy, because in my isolation I thought few knew what was being done to me, though I did not know how that was possible. Of course it was not. They had been watching me along, making me this world famous guy whose irresponsible webcasts were causing havoc across the world, though as part of a Plan that had been in the works for over fifty years... as I felt like odd man out, the guy who did not understand the language being spoken to me. I did not realize for instance that Blue meant cops, and in this town they are Catholics. I knew the Catholics were involved in the brain washing I had, 07, when this started and was very threatening, saying we would kill all the Catholics in this town if that was what it took for me to get out of town.... though I had a dream in my twenties of ending up in a Catholic Church in Chicago as a cloud came through the skyscrapers on state street, bring Jesus... and I was filled with joy such as people of the book must have felt with me at first. They thought I was going to become a Catholic, or Russian Orthodox, which is very similar.
The media commented on me all the time in subtle ways that those who watched my life got, the inside joke of he who could not be mentioned directly. For awhile I was the underground King and a Character they used to play me on Supernatural ended up in the first episode of a Keifer Sutherland tv show, that advertised they were having me on subtly, I cannot remember, but enough intel I watched the show and saw the character CHUCK come up to the Sutherland and the actor is all happy and asks WHAT DOES THE INVISIBLE KING WANT.. The response was that I wanted to be out of pain, and I am in crippling pain that I was not being properly medicated at the time and it drove my life crazy... now I have had a surgery and am on a plethora of drugs due to bits of bone floating around my back, jabbing into nerves, making my legs fill with electric, annoying, aching legs from the back of my thighs, down my calves, into the tips of my toes.
Small non sequiters in series is how they get things across, and the invisible king was never again brought up, and I watched it for awhile, then quit, and it was dropped. The out of the blue sentences that seem to make no sense, do they even register to people who do not have the context to recognize codes? They never did to me, and I cannot see how they could anyone who did not this group displayed this if they were behind something, another that... I hate to give any away because plenty of people who are not involved at all where these colors, all the better to blend in, but the gray suited ones, they call themselves the Sharks, and they consider themselves the primary predator in the water, the mindless killing machine; often cannibals to boot. I went to our church and got all this free clothing when I realized they were always watching me, and I had an audience that needed to be reassured, etc.. try to make up for my ignorance before that I had company, to a degree... there was always a part of me that resented being bugged and watched everyday. I put on the gray Jacket and a big star on how I met your mother, who worked with me, then stopped... turned on me. He said, A VEGETARIAN SHARK? I just smiled, not knowing their bloody history, or how far I am from a shark.
ANOTHER color was another code. Blue, cops, obviously. I had a military hat to support the soldiers, which I wore with my Marines jacket. I later worked with them a lot, and when I had disagreements with England, and my allies had even more, evidently, unbeknownst to me, soldiers I worked with fought an English contingency. Dr. Who did an episode about it called Demons Run, and the villain was wearing a pirate patch, and I started a trend to pirate to build a war chest, supposedly, with a sentence I meant downloading computer programming. They knew better than I of course. I was accused by Will Ferrel of allowing the BRITISH to slaughter my soldiers. I heard exactly one sentence about that situation. 'The English have invaded Florida.. The government is different than the queen.' That same night a Mexican guy killed a black guy, and evidently my showing support for the child shot by a racist wanna be cop... The two stories were supposed to meld into my mind to tell me different things, and I suppose they expected a response.... the same with the Dr. Who episode where they made fun of marines and anyone who worked with me, who like I said, was represented by woman with an elaborate eye patch. She was turning people into monsters who would kill about anyone. The doctors assistant shoots this woman point blank in the face,
God, when this first started, and I began to believe I was Jesus, the thought required years of contemplation, for me... I took two weeks writing poetry, astounded by what was coming out. I felt I was going to bring peace to this planet, but I was scorned because a poem about Bush was taken too seriously. I never meant Jeb any harm or would have written that had I known the consequences. I was filled with love for everyone at first, but he had helped Bush steal the election.... and Gore should have been president, and I kind of blamed him, because he pulled strings in Florida. They had all done horrible things. I was just being nice. Then you made me your enemy, when there was no reason to, and I figured if you were going to fight a Holy being, you were going to find out just what kind of chaos that would bring, and how the soldier of God stands with ten thousand enemies dead around him, as he stands unscathed. I have had this happen to me, all around me people who were done away with by the powers greater than me, the best armed.
Had I any idea what my presence was causing, if the gaps had been allowed to be filled in from the start, history would read quite different right now, but the elite were right about one thing, they stopped me from solidifying my political judgement on this world. Now I know what is best, and no matter what the odds against us, we will fight you, if for just to keep the idea alive for our children's sake, so they may do what we were too steeped in lies to know what had to be done..... THAT IS MY VOW TO THE OLIGARCHY,.
I was ignorant enough then to think this was about me.... that I was the hero, as dr. who had at some point touched on the media topics that I brought up, supporting me when I said we had to go after the Nazi's, which they would not do. I did not know enough about the world situation to see that most people in the underground have treaties. They fight very seldom. Have their own fiefdoms.
What do I say now, ten years after the brainwashing into Jesus... I say that the Jesus who came to me in my visions is in my lexicon one of my past lives, and that I am the closest thing to God on this planet, a creature sent to help humans along, like a returning Buddha... starting or ending religions, reminding the lying, power mad humans again and again they were immortal creatures. Mostly waiting for the time when the souls of the planet matured, and the life there was near an end, and the gravity of life will no longer call back souls. The reoccurring dreams I had in the crib of being a soul flying above earth, then sucked down into the blue globe, complete with moving clouds, then being painfully pulled into whiteness... This and astral projection convinced me we are something more than just our bodies, and many other events I have seen, which do not fit in conventional belief, like meeting a ghost, after accidently running into a psychic.... a story so weird my brothers and I never discussed the night ever again. I will not bore you with the details... the point is that I have this mantra of different ways that I know, scientifically, that there is a soul. I am convinced. I am also convinced that God is love. When we die we are drawn toward this love, where heaven is a feeling beyond description though glimpsed by humans where the souls become immobile.
In my cosmology, I do not go to Heaven, which is in my bible a planet nearest God, where I am from, and grew up with no doubts of the love of a God I could see and feel. His people became soul travelers, though on their planet, covered with warm water, they are purple and yellow plant like creatures that sway in the gentle waves... though souls that travel through all of God's creation, seeing his works, and returning to share with all the experience. We are immortal and not feel time, see only changes in the molecules, a building and deconstructing and rebuilding again... I watched a planet from beginning to end, occasionally helping them out if I could, living as their kind to truly know them, to tell my people the entire story of the planet... I can send my soul into every living creature on a planet at once, sense the Holy Spirit within all of them, the life. I have come here to study humans, and since all planets end, and sometimes in horrible ways, I provide mercy killings, on the behest of God, on planets. Life is harvested. Other planets are left to rot away, fall into the chaos of the intelligence genes hitting the right planet, happens all the time in infinity and almost never... so far apart....
I picture these things thinking this is not the blog for this writing. THIS IS THE KIND OF RELIGIOUS writing that I did that contributed to those who felt I was some kind of Holy man where as I HAD NEVER considered the thought.... I felt wounded and defeated and powerless and driven mad by the brainwashing and the combination of Seroquel and tramadol, which made me manic and crazy -- I slept for a month after going off Seroquel. I have the religious thought, and that is tied into the spy shit as well... they wanted one thing, and thought they got it for awhile... Christ in Chicago handing out wisdom. I gave you something totally different. Drugged and in pain... my mind freshly raped. I do not write much about the big secrets because they sound so out there, but because I set off this revolution, and invited the police and the mafia aboard, by writing about how I had driven cab for the mafia, which made some people think I approved of them, which I did not.. and bitched one out, the cliché lawyer brother, for sending me to a scam place trying to get me all this money and massages.... to jack up the bill, because you get like your medical bills high and you get more money in the settlement. I saw it for a scam. I walked into his office and bitched him out.... that medical place was busted not a year later. The mob guys, nothing happened to them.
I used to see the cops counting all this cash outside the cab garage. It was fucking amazing. I do not have any idea what they were being paid for, what these guys had going besides running a cab company and one of them was a coke head, may have sold the stuff.... I do not know, I grew to really dislike him, but the other I liked a lot, a cool guy who just happened to be in that family, grew up around cabbies and was nice to work for... though the mean one was a block from my house, so I drove for him. Anyways, regardless of that... I was never in the mob, though the people who were behind this, certainly did. The things I heard reeked of genocide, getting rid of certain segments of society, a culling almost. I heard of the most gruesome murders. One day they told me incident after incident of some women who fought for me that killed their husbands and kids for some reason, shit I just could not understand happening. I was taken so gruesomely serious by so many that I could say the slightest thing in my apartment, and the media had it set up to mock me. I had no idea they could all see me.
When I realized as much, I was terrified. I made a couple stupid moves that stopped those who backed me from taking over the country, and I thank God for that now... though at the time I felt I had made some huge mistake. I was pissed at the Mob for the way they used me, and took all these millions of dollars, while I lived like a pauper. I found out they were watching me, I was famous from this webcam, and there was all this money. I told them to give it to charity, which was a mistake at the time, but I was still dealing with the thought that people knew about me, yet I lived a fairly mundane life. But they watched me bitch and preach at the bugs, and mess with their heads... until I was told that one day, YOUR PEOPLE ARE AFRAID... and I told them, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ME... I WOULD NOT HURT YOU... I did not know what the hell was going on, that you were looking to me for leadership, when I did not even realize there were all these factions... the one percent is spread across the various most powerful peoplein the world.. And I know of the eight factions, as I say... though I think there are others I could add to the list, I do not like to speculate in these confessions. Better to just leave a question mark, then a guess that could be wrong.... and admittedly, this is the place to learn about someone who was used and abused and is still in one sense very involved. I lead a faction.
I am the head of the communists in some ways, after believing in them more than my own country, after they kept me alive, with armed guards, after the CIA decided to frame me for mass murder... a mass murder they probably had planned from the start. Get rid of the leftests... here in Chicago they beat them to death on a golf course. A spy who told me, brought a bloody purse with him, and her id, and told me he tried to approach a cop about it but they just ignored him, which was very weird... until he realized they were slaughtering these college kids, peaceniks, so the wars could continue unabated.... and they talked of mass graves, showed me piles of burning bodies...
I became hated and I was not sure why... did not realize what was being done by the side I was supposedly on, one which I found out later did not share my values, and we parted ways as amiacably as possible. I have nothing against anyone marrying anyone of any color... those kind of thoughts are so stupid.. love is love. To think some bloodline needs preserved is racist. Every gene alive in this time has something to contribute, has won a zillion battles to be alive. and humans are not intelligent enough to know which dna they will need in the end to survive.... God would not create the different races to keep people apart... just a fact of the sun that people used to pretend others were animals, instead of human beings, so they could make them labor for free.
Lord, there is more slavery now than ever before on the planet. In 2017. How disgusting those who say slavery is over... there are hundreds of millions of slaves who would beg to differ with you.
I meant to write cohesively my story and am just going all over the place. It is hard not to want to write from what I know now, rather than go back to the less telling history that got me here.
All religious ramblings aside, for awhile, thru the cameras, someone told the people watching me that I was giving signals by all the things I did in my apartment. From the beginning the idea that I would order senseless attacks on people, having them spray people with pepper spray when I bought dr pepper.... The media made references to it, though I did not understand it until one of the shows on at the time that was in on this heavily, COMMUNITY, where they outright showed that you sell out and make money, or you are on your own, maybe cleaning toilets, but at least not part of this evil organization. I never saw myself on this, but they used Chevy Chase at one point because when I declared I was not racist at all, he quit the show, saying he did not want to play an old racist... and he contacted me, we gave each other a Chinese bow... very cool moment. He is one of the funniest men alive, for sure.
Then they showed the ones where the Asian man took over the schools, and I saw this peper spray stuff and all this, messages of what was happening. They could not just approach me bectechnically I am a hostage of the blacks. I come from this elite family that wanted to fight the blacks who toojk me hostage in a race war I DID not even know about.... God, when they told me there was a race war, based upon me getting mad at a black guy who mocked my income, I mocked his back and threw in kids and suddenly I am a racist, after he has known me a year... I knew he was unstable, when I told him I was disabled, he mocked me, Like the kids I work with -- who evidently have mental deficiencies... and at a bus stop one day I did not have my glasses, and was looking at him not realizing it was him, he noticed and tried to threaten me by walking over and standing close to me, I totally ignored him... though I did notice he was a head or more shorter than me and I would kick his ass quite easily, since he had almost never been in fights and I grew up having them all the fucking time... to the point I do not have to think about it, just let my body go... though I hate the feeling and avoid fights at all costs.... at this same time, I was trying to get noticed, I could not understand why my life was not intersecting with whatever the hell was going on in the outside world.
I watched commercials closely for awhile thinking they would make more money and I woud get some... it was a madness... that came before I learned more blood had been spilled. The first actions that I was told about were people who helped me having their arms cut off at the elbow, by the CIA... which I forgave them for, just to go against Bush, when I should have trusted him on that one all the way, though it made the CIA my friend, I guess. I did not know much about them and figured I would support them if I was doing whatever the hell I wanted, until they let me out of the bowl.
The entire simpsons movie with the dome over it is all about this. Chicago was shut down by the people who came there to be the center or the revolution, to meet the Christ, or whatever... I could never quite figure out why people had done these things to my mind, then left me in a psych ward for awhile, and they were masonics, and tried to convince me to be Catholic, and other brainwashing shit, but mostly they brought people in to meet me... I was crazed from the drugs they had me on and how weird the world had gotten. At one point anywhere I went, the person at the counter of the restaurant made a phone call... they asked me later, on the tv, did you not notice... people were making calls. Of course I was noticing that, but I had no idea why....
I lit off dynamite a few weeks or months in when I felt like the way the Christ was being treated on this planet; I assumed all humans were behind this for so long. Now I do not know who is with me and who is not, other than the blacks and the communists. They have this insurance company ad they use to show the general, which was invented when I STARTED writing a book from the view o a general of sorts... they used to have a penguin in it, for the Mexicans. I did not understand this until well too late, what it meant,... let alone that I was being watched and judged. That was too much. Thank God I finally figured out how far and wide this madness had been spread. Only the false prophets and users of religion, the anti-Christ if you believe in that kind of thing, would do this to me. I know evil and this was it.
Taking an innocent man and making him an international puppet, though he controlled all these mindless masses that were killing people... I had no idea that my behavior would echo so far out into society... sitting in my living room, as I had for years, having to deal with the intrusion of tv, I tried again to drive you away.... a mistake if you think I wanted to join the establishment, which I might have done, but the righteous action in the end. Only thru this humiliation could I truly be cleansed of ego for one, and also I found out how people thought of me, and I was astounded by the portayels I got, and the hatred that flowed. I realized that I had been getting along good with these people until I masterbated, once openly and another time hidden, after telling you SOME THINGS ARE X RATED.. MEANING LEAVE ME ALONE ... I did not think all of you could see me. Christ almighty.
I sat in a chair losing weight, forty pounds, astounded and depressed on finding out all these peple knew about this and were using it. Mary Ann was strangely unaffected, had known from the stsart, must have thought me and idiot. When they told me all those people she had went to, who I could not identify, as if she were a begging whore... I think they meant she was going to abandon me or whatever, I just do not know. That is the hell of living with a professional spy whom you are an assignment to. The rusian connection. I thought about leaving her and got a message from the Russian mob that if I left her, they would kill me. Like I think anything of threats after all these years of threats. I once used a lot of threats too, but now they are just more intelligence on my enemy, nothing more.
They consider me in the underground the guy who wants to bring down the rich, and I am. I want to redistribute wealth across this entire planet, and raise the lives of all. The easiest route would be a ten year period of world dictatorship, acting on plans that are approved by professionals in the field, real scientists, not backers of products. I would not want to fight the millionaires so I would leave them their lifestyle, just not all the excess cash they had that is destroying the planet, under their lack of leadership, based on bias, murderous impulses of the ape. They want to genocide the world. Seven billion. I have an alternative that I would like to put on the table, a plan of action, that will never be enacted, though perhaps in some future where sanity finally has to rule... I just hope debt has not enslaved the entire planet to usury by then... though the joke will be on them when we socialize the banks, get rid of the stock markets altogether.... offer cheap, government loans to people; on terms they can afford, for no profit.
The subjection of women and children will cease world wide. Slavery will become an offense that will require killing every single one of them, no matter what scale they are on. I will stop the for profit prisons. I will do many things here and across the globe. I will take those living in tin shacks and have them built small, ecological houses I see on the net for the homeless all the time. Build communities throughout the planet, ignoring no one, anywhere, no matter how much blood must be spilled. Countries can maintain as much autonomy as possible, so they can function at the end of the period of adjustment. DURING this period,
The over population problem will be solved by moving people around the globe, to where there are great parcels of land, and providing loans to build new towns in Russia and Canada... the money is there, the logistics are easy enough. The problem is who holds the power. Those who do will not give it up without a fight. They have their own vision of what the future holds and it disgusts me, tells me humans have gone too far from God. Too far from any decencies. Into a base survival mode that is selfish and horrifying on all levels.
The families and mobs and armies and dictators and around the world would have to overwhelmed by the idea filling their citizens -- a solution has been offered, will you take it, or live more of the same and worse, leaving to the next generation no money at all, because it is all in the top one percent's hands. No good pay to buy a house, now... When I think of how to navigate all that power and bring them together as one, a part of me thinks -- you who got so many people killed and hurt so many feelings and caused people to make decisions for behavior based on my fiction. In my story our God Ralph, there are all these car wrecks, and he likes them... I was not thinking in terms of scripture or revolution as I wrote these words, they were purely inspired by the moment, coming from deep in my unconscious, not from a chess board for revolution. I cannot ever apologize enough for those of you who were harmed purely out of misunderstandings.
I am not a murderer. I am a killer. I would not kill you if I did not need to for self preservation, or to save an innocent life. And for these reasons, the Government let me loose at times, spreading blood across the country... I guess they did something horrible on Halloween to all these people, kept bringing it up to me as a terror. I had written once it was a good night to revolt because everyone is wearing masks.
This grew into some horror they kept from me. I became a figure of hatred, leading killers, advocating violence that took place when you did... and you did not even know it... I had an ex ex girlfriend call me on my birthday, hysterical, asking what I WAS writing, and if it was violent... I realized then that my words must have killed, and could still kill. I kept waiting for her to wish me happy birthday, but she would not do so. She was married, during the time we were together, and I ACCIDENTLY released it to the press when they were very interested in me, and the tv, which was intregral part of this plan ... they even said, when I wrote her name and then erased it, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. To be examined so closely by people I could not comprehend all of them or even why they were playing along with me, what they expected me to do, and especially, what their affiliation was in the political world.
They actually put on a teleplay of her and I, with the mother from that Chicago show, where she played the whorish woman, to her husband who did not want to have sex with her, daughter was the first tv slut... damn that is a good show, and she is one fine looking woman, almost as gorgeous as Barbara. The last time I contacted her, she wrote me back that she wanted privacy and put three exclamation points after that. She had been considered the girlfriend of God by some, and what ever, her husband found out about me and evidently she got a lot of press. I destroyed her reputation, which she certainly did not deserve, since she is a hypocrite and a half... not nearly as quick as she thinks she is... just schooled in professionalism. Big Deal.
I have no clue what really happened to her. Those were our last two contacts... no, there was one more, where I asked her were we not at least friends for life after what we had been through, and she said we were..... but I do not know her story, how much she suffered for this mission. I always suspect she was involved, because she used to occasionally, inexplicably, start talking about how I WAS going to hate her so much... I had no idea, because if she stayed with her husband, I had planty of other women who I dated or kept close... but later I learned she was assigned me, the once and future king, of the Christians, who they wanted to like Jews. She was the perfect girlfriend for a guy like me, a millionaires so IF AND WHEN I went broke, or needed help with money, she was always there... very considerate of my life style, loving. I cherish my memories with her, and she got great sex in return, like she had never had before, as many women have told me...
I had someone ask to interview me on a radio show, and I said yes..... I have only done this once before and I did not know what to say, but now after a year or so honing down what I know into a more cohesive narrative, that HAS ADMITTEDLY a few holes in it. I always feel like I will not be believed. This guy said a lot more people are reading me than I realize, which was cool, and how he was honored to have me on his show. I told him I will need a couple weeks. I guess if you want to hear this reluctant one talk out of the shadows, then you can watch this blog, and in a month or so, say july seventeen, I will know what to say.
UPDATE... they disappeared.... I did not write down their name....
The media commented on me all the time in subtle ways that those who watched my life got, the inside joke of he who could not be mentioned directly. For awhile I was the underground King and a Character they used to play me on Supernatural ended up in the first episode of a Keifer Sutherland tv show, that advertised they were having me on subtly, I cannot remember, but enough intel I watched the show and saw the character CHUCK come up to the Sutherland and the actor is all happy and asks WHAT DOES THE INVISIBLE KING WANT.. The response was that I wanted to be out of pain, and I am in crippling pain that I was not being properly medicated at the time and it drove my life crazy... now I have had a surgery and am on a plethora of drugs due to bits of bone floating around my back, jabbing into nerves, making my legs fill with electric, annoying, aching legs from the back of my thighs, down my calves, into the tips of my toes.
Small non sequiters in series is how they get things across, and the invisible king was never again brought up, and I watched it for awhile, then quit, and it was dropped. The out of the blue sentences that seem to make no sense, do they even register to people who do not have the context to recognize codes? They never did to me, and I cannot see how they could anyone who did not this group displayed this if they were behind something, another that... I hate to give any away because plenty of people who are not involved at all where these colors, all the better to blend in, but the gray suited ones, they call themselves the Sharks, and they consider themselves the primary predator in the water, the mindless killing machine; often cannibals to boot. I went to our church and got all this free clothing when I realized they were always watching me, and I had an audience that needed to be reassured, etc.. try to make up for my ignorance before that I had company, to a degree... there was always a part of me that resented being bugged and watched everyday. I put on the gray Jacket and a big star on how I met your mother, who worked with me, then stopped... turned on me. He said, A VEGETARIAN SHARK? I just smiled, not knowing their bloody history, or how far I am from a shark.
ANOTHER color was another code. Blue, cops, obviously. I had a military hat to support the soldiers, which I wore with my Marines jacket. I later worked with them a lot, and when I had disagreements with England, and my allies had even more, evidently, unbeknownst to me, soldiers I worked with fought an English contingency. Dr. Who did an episode about it called Demons Run, and the villain was wearing a pirate patch, and I started a trend to pirate to build a war chest, supposedly, with a sentence I meant downloading computer programming. They knew better than I of course. I was accused by Will Ferrel of allowing the BRITISH to slaughter my soldiers. I heard exactly one sentence about that situation. 'The English have invaded Florida.. The government is different than the queen.' That same night a Mexican guy killed a black guy, and evidently my showing support for the child shot by a racist wanna be cop... The two stories were supposed to meld into my mind to tell me different things, and I suppose they expected a response.... the same with the Dr. Who episode where they made fun of marines and anyone who worked with me, who like I said, was represented by woman with an elaborate eye patch. She was turning people into monsters who would kill about anyone. The doctors assistant shoots this woman point blank in the face,
God, when this first started, and I began to believe I was Jesus, the thought required years of contemplation, for me... I took two weeks writing poetry, astounded by what was coming out. I felt I was going to bring peace to this planet, but I was scorned because a poem about Bush was taken too seriously. I never meant Jeb any harm or would have written that had I known the consequences. I was filled with love for everyone at first, but he had helped Bush steal the election.... and Gore should have been president, and I kind of blamed him, because he pulled strings in Florida. They had all done horrible things. I was just being nice. Then you made me your enemy, when there was no reason to, and I figured if you were going to fight a Holy being, you were going to find out just what kind of chaos that would bring, and how the soldier of God stands with ten thousand enemies dead around him, as he stands unscathed. I have had this happen to me, all around me people who were done away with by the powers greater than me, the best armed.
Had I any idea what my presence was causing, if the gaps had been allowed to be filled in from the start, history would read quite different right now, but the elite were right about one thing, they stopped me from solidifying my political judgement on this world. Now I know what is best, and no matter what the odds against us, we will fight you, if for just to keep the idea alive for our children's sake, so they may do what we were too steeped in lies to know what had to be done..... THAT IS MY VOW TO THE OLIGARCHY,.
I was ignorant enough then to think this was about me.... that I was the hero, as dr. who had at some point touched on the media topics that I brought up, supporting me when I said we had to go after the Nazi's, which they would not do. I did not know enough about the world situation to see that most people in the underground have treaties. They fight very seldom. Have their own fiefdoms.
What do I say now, ten years after the brainwashing into Jesus... I say that the Jesus who came to me in my visions is in my lexicon one of my past lives, and that I am the closest thing to God on this planet, a creature sent to help humans along, like a returning Buddha... starting or ending religions, reminding the lying, power mad humans again and again they were immortal creatures. Mostly waiting for the time when the souls of the planet matured, and the life there was near an end, and the gravity of life will no longer call back souls. The reoccurring dreams I had in the crib of being a soul flying above earth, then sucked down into the blue globe, complete with moving clouds, then being painfully pulled into whiteness... This and astral projection convinced me we are something more than just our bodies, and many other events I have seen, which do not fit in conventional belief, like meeting a ghost, after accidently running into a psychic.... a story so weird my brothers and I never discussed the night ever again. I will not bore you with the details... the point is that I have this mantra of different ways that I know, scientifically, that there is a soul. I am convinced. I am also convinced that God is love. When we die we are drawn toward this love, where heaven is a feeling beyond description though glimpsed by humans where the souls become immobile.
In my cosmology, I do not go to Heaven, which is in my bible a planet nearest God, where I am from, and grew up with no doubts of the love of a God I could see and feel. His people became soul travelers, though on their planet, covered with warm water, they are purple and yellow plant like creatures that sway in the gentle waves... though souls that travel through all of God's creation, seeing his works, and returning to share with all the experience. We are immortal and not feel time, see only changes in the molecules, a building and deconstructing and rebuilding again... I watched a planet from beginning to end, occasionally helping them out if I could, living as their kind to truly know them, to tell my people the entire story of the planet... I can send my soul into every living creature on a planet at once, sense the Holy Spirit within all of them, the life. I have come here to study humans, and since all planets end, and sometimes in horrible ways, I provide mercy killings, on the behest of God, on planets. Life is harvested. Other planets are left to rot away, fall into the chaos of the intelligence genes hitting the right planet, happens all the time in infinity and almost never... so far apart....
I picture these things thinking this is not the blog for this writing. THIS IS THE KIND OF RELIGIOUS writing that I did that contributed to those who felt I was some kind of Holy man where as I HAD NEVER considered the thought.... I felt wounded and defeated and powerless and driven mad by the brainwashing and the combination of Seroquel and tramadol, which made me manic and crazy -- I slept for a month after going off Seroquel. I have the religious thought, and that is tied into the spy shit as well... they wanted one thing, and thought they got it for awhile... Christ in Chicago handing out wisdom. I gave you something totally different. Drugged and in pain... my mind freshly raped. I do not write much about the big secrets because they sound so out there, but because I set off this revolution, and invited the police and the mafia aboard, by writing about how I had driven cab for the mafia, which made some people think I approved of them, which I did not.. and bitched one out, the cliché lawyer brother, for sending me to a scam place trying to get me all this money and massages.... to jack up the bill, because you get like your medical bills high and you get more money in the settlement. I saw it for a scam. I walked into his office and bitched him out.... that medical place was busted not a year later. The mob guys, nothing happened to them.
I used to see the cops counting all this cash outside the cab garage. It was fucking amazing. I do not have any idea what they were being paid for, what these guys had going besides running a cab company and one of them was a coke head, may have sold the stuff.... I do not know, I grew to really dislike him, but the other I liked a lot, a cool guy who just happened to be in that family, grew up around cabbies and was nice to work for... though the mean one was a block from my house, so I drove for him. Anyways, regardless of that... I was never in the mob, though the people who were behind this, certainly did. The things I heard reeked of genocide, getting rid of certain segments of society, a culling almost. I heard of the most gruesome murders. One day they told me incident after incident of some women who fought for me that killed their husbands and kids for some reason, shit I just could not understand happening. I was taken so gruesomely serious by so many that I could say the slightest thing in my apartment, and the media had it set up to mock me. I had no idea they could all see me.
When I realized as much, I was terrified. I made a couple stupid moves that stopped those who backed me from taking over the country, and I thank God for that now... though at the time I felt I had made some huge mistake. I was pissed at the Mob for the way they used me, and took all these millions of dollars, while I lived like a pauper. I found out they were watching me, I was famous from this webcam, and there was all this money. I told them to give it to charity, which was a mistake at the time, but I was still dealing with the thought that people knew about me, yet I lived a fairly mundane life. But they watched me bitch and preach at the bugs, and mess with their heads... until I was told that one day, YOUR PEOPLE ARE AFRAID... and I told them, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ME... I WOULD NOT HURT YOU... I did not know what the hell was going on, that you were looking to me for leadership, when I did not even realize there were all these factions... the one percent is spread across the various most powerful peoplein the world.. And I know of the eight factions, as I say... though I think there are others I could add to the list, I do not like to speculate in these confessions. Better to just leave a question mark, then a guess that could be wrong.... and admittedly, this is the place to learn about someone who was used and abused and is still in one sense very involved. I lead a faction.
I am the head of the communists in some ways, after believing in them more than my own country, after they kept me alive, with armed guards, after the CIA decided to frame me for mass murder... a mass murder they probably had planned from the start. Get rid of the leftests... here in Chicago they beat them to death on a golf course. A spy who told me, brought a bloody purse with him, and her id, and told me he tried to approach a cop about it but they just ignored him, which was very weird... until he realized they were slaughtering these college kids, peaceniks, so the wars could continue unabated.... and they talked of mass graves, showed me piles of burning bodies...
I became hated and I was not sure why... did not realize what was being done by the side I was supposedly on, one which I found out later did not share my values, and we parted ways as amiacably as possible. I have nothing against anyone marrying anyone of any color... those kind of thoughts are so stupid.. love is love. To think some bloodline needs preserved is racist. Every gene alive in this time has something to contribute, has won a zillion battles to be alive. and humans are not intelligent enough to know which dna they will need in the end to survive.... God would not create the different races to keep people apart... just a fact of the sun that people used to pretend others were animals, instead of human beings, so they could make them labor for free.
Lord, there is more slavery now than ever before on the planet. In 2017. How disgusting those who say slavery is over... there are hundreds of millions of slaves who would beg to differ with you.
I meant to write cohesively my story and am just going all over the place. It is hard not to want to write from what I know now, rather than go back to the less telling history that got me here.
All religious ramblings aside, for awhile, thru the cameras, someone told the people watching me that I was giving signals by all the things I did in my apartment. From the beginning the idea that I would order senseless attacks on people, having them spray people with pepper spray when I bought dr pepper.... The media made references to it, though I did not understand it until one of the shows on at the time that was in on this heavily, COMMUNITY, where they outright showed that you sell out and make money, or you are on your own, maybe cleaning toilets, but at least not part of this evil organization. I never saw myself on this, but they used Chevy Chase at one point because when I declared I was not racist at all, he quit the show, saying he did not want to play an old racist... and he contacted me, we gave each other a Chinese bow... very cool moment. He is one of the funniest men alive, for sure.
Then they showed the ones where the Asian man took over the schools, and I saw this peper spray stuff and all this, messages of what was happening. They could not just approach me bectechnically I am a hostage of the blacks. I come from this elite family that wanted to fight the blacks who toojk me hostage in a race war I DID not even know about.... God, when they told me there was a race war, based upon me getting mad at a black guy who mocked my income, I mocked his back and threw in kids and suddenly I am a racist, after he has known me a year... I knew he was unstable, when I told him I was disabled, he mocked me, Like the kids I work with -- who evidently have mental deficiencies... and at a bus stop one day I did not have my glasses, and was looking at him not realizing it was him, he noticed and tried to threaten me by walking over and standing close to me, I totally ignored him... though I did notice he was a head or more shorter than me and I would kick his ass quite easily, since he had almost never been in fights and I grew up having them all the fucking time... to the point I do not have to think about it, just let my body go... though I hate the feeling and avoid fights at all costs.... at this same time, I was trying to get noticed, I could not understand why my life was not intersecting with whatever the hell was going on in the outside world.
I watched commercials closely for awhile thinking they would make more money and I woud get some... it was a madness... that came before I learned more blood had been spilled. The first actions that I was told about were people who helped me having their arms cut off at the elbow, by the CIA... which I forgave them for, just to go against Bush, when I should have trusted him on that one all the way, though it made the CIA my friend, I guess. I did not know much about them and figured I would support them if I was doing whatever the hell I wanted, until they let me out of the bowl.
The entire simpsons movie with the dome over it is all about this. Chicago was shut down by the people who came there to be the center or the revolution, to meet the Christ, or whatever... I could never quite figure out why people had done these things to my mind, then left me in a psych ward for awhile, and they were masonics, and tried to convince me to be Catholic, and other brainwashing shit, but mostly they brought people in to meet me... I was crazed from the drugs they had me on and how weird the world had gotten. At one point anywhere I went, the person at the counter of the restaurant made a phone call... they asked me later, on the tv, did you not notice... people were making calls. Of course I was noticing that, but I had no idea why....
I lit off dynamite a few weeks or months in when I felt like the way the Christ was being treated on this planet; I assumed all humans were behind this for so long. Now I do not know who is with me and who is not, other than the blacks and the communists. They have this insurance company ad they use to show the general, which was invented when I STARTED writing a book from the view o a general of sorts... they used to have a penguin in it, for the Mexicans. I did not understand this until well too late, what it meant,... let alone that I was being watched and judged. That was too much. Thank God I finally figured out how far and wide this madness had been spread. Only the false prophets and users of religion, the anti-Christ if you believe in that kind of thing, would do this to me. I know evil and this was it.
Taking an innocent man and making him an international puppet, though he controlled all these mindless masses that were killing people... I had no idea that my behavior would echo so far out into society... sitting in my living room, as I had for years, having to deal with the intrusion of tv, I tried again to drive you away.... a mistake if you think I wanted to join the establishment, which I might have done, but the righteous action in the end. Only thru this humiliation could I truly be cleansed of ego for one, and also I found out how people thought of me, and I was astounded by the portayels I got, and the hatred that flowed. I realized that I had been getting along good with these people until I masterbated, once openly and another time hidden, after telling you SOME THINGS ARE X RATED.. MEANING LEAVE ME ALONE ... I did not think all of you could see me. Christ almighty.
I sat in a chair losing weight, forty pounds, astounded and depressed on finding out all these peple knew about this and were using it. Mary Ann was strangely unaffected, had known from the stsart, must have thought me and idiot. When they told me all those people she had went to, who I could not identify, as if she were a begging whore... I think they meant she was going to abandon me or whatever, I just do not know. That is the hell of living with a professional spy whom you are an assignment to. The rusian connection. I thought about leaving her and got a message from the Russian mob that if I left her, they would kill me. Like I think anything of threats after all these years of threats. I once used a lot of threats too, but now they are just more intelligence on my enemy, nothing more.
They consider me in the underground the guy who wants to bring down the rich, and I am. I want to redistribute wealth across this entire planet, and raise the lives of all. The easiest route would be a ten year period of world dictatorship, acting on plans that are approved by professionals in the field, real scientists, not backers of products. I would not want to fight the millionaires so I would leave them their lifestyle, just not all the excess cash they had that is destroying the planet, under their lack of leadership, based on bias, murderous impulses of the ape. They want to genocide the world. Seven billion. I have an alternative that I would like to put on the table, a plan of action, that will never be enacted, though perhaps in some future where sanity finally has to rule... I just hope debt has not enslaved the entire planet to usury by then... though the joke will be on them when we socialize the banks, get rid of the stock markets altogether.... offer cheap, government loans to people; on terms they can afford, for no profit.
The subjection of women and children will cease world wide. Slavery will become an offense that will require killing every single one of them, no matter what scale they are on. I will stop the for profit prisons. I will do many things here and across the globe. I will take those living in tin shacks and have them built small, ecological houses I see on the net for the homeless all the time. Build communities throughout the planet, ignoring no one, anywhere, no matter how much blood must be spilled. Countries can maintain as much autonomy as possible, so they can function at the end of the period of adjustment. DURING this period,
The over population problem will be solved by moving people around the globe, to where there are great parcels of land, and providing loans to build new towns in Russia and Canada... the money is there, the logistics are easy enough. The problem is who holds the power. Those who do will not give it up without a fight. They have their own vision of what the future holds and it disgusts me, tells me humans have gone too far from God. Too far from any decencies. Into a base survival mode that is selfish and horrifying on all levels.
The families and mobs and armies and dictators and around the world would have to overwhelmed by the idea filling their citizens -- a solution has been offered, will you take it, or live more of the same and worse, leaving to the next generation no money at all, because it is all in the top one percent's hands. No good pay to buy a house, now... When I think of how to navigate all that power and bring them together as one, a part of me thinks -- you who got so many people killed and hurt so many feelings and caused people to make decisions for behavior based on my fiction. In my story our God Ralph, there are all these car wrecks, and he likes them... I was not thinking in terms of scripture or revolution as I wrote these words, they were purely inspired by the moment, coming from deep in my unconscious, not from a chess board for revolution. I cannot ever apologize enough for those of you who were harmed purely out of misunderstandings.
I am not a murderer. I am a killer. I would not kill you if I did not need to for self preservation, or to save an innocent life. And for these reasons, the Government let me loose at times, spreading blood across the country... I guess they did something horrible on Halloween to all these people, kept bringing it up to me as a terror. I had written once it was a good night to revolt because everyone is wearing masks.
This grew into some horror they kept from me. I became a figure of hatred, leading killers, advocating violence that took place when you did... and you did not even know it... I had an ex ex girlfriend call me on my birthday, hysterical, asking what I WAS writing, and if it was violent... I realized then that my words must have killed, and could still kill. I kept waiting for her to wish me happy birthday, but she would not do so. She was married, during the time we were together, and I ACCIDENTLY released it to the press when they were very interested in me, and the tv, which was intregral part of this plan ... they even said, when I wrote her name and then erased it, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. To be examined so closely by people I could not comprehend all of them or even why they were playing along with me, what they expected me to do, and especially, what their affiliation was in the political world.
They actually put on a teleplay of her and I, with the mother from that Chicago show, where she played the whorish woman, to her husband who did not want to have sex with her, daughter was the first tv slut... damn that is a good show, and she is one fine looking woman, almost as gorgeous as Barbara. The last time I contacted her, she wrote me back that she wanted privacy and put three exclamation points after that. She had been considered the girlfriend of God by some, and what ever, her husband found out about me and evidently she got a lot of press. I destroyed her reputation, which she certainly did not deserve, since she is a hypocrite and a half... not nearly as quick as she thinks she is... just schooled in professionalism. Big Deal.
I have no clue what really happened to her. Those were our last two contacts... no, there was one more, where I asked her were we not at least friends for life after what we had been through, and she said we were..... but I do not know her story, how much she suffered for this mission. I always suspect she was involved, because she used to occasionally, inexplicably, start talking about how I WAS going to hate her so much... I had no idea, because if she stayed with her husband, I had planty of other women who I dated or kept close... but later I learned she was assigned me, the once and future king, of the Christians, who they wanted to like Jews. She was the perfect girlfriend for a guy like me, a millionaires so IF AND WHEN I went broke, or needed help with money, she was always there... very considerate of my life style, loving. I cherish my memories with her, and she got great sex in return, like she had never had before, as many women have told me...
I had someone ask to interview me on a radio show, and I said yes..... I have only done this once before and I did not know what to say, but now after a year or so honing down what I know into a more cohesive narrative, that HAS ADMITTEDLY a few holes in it. I always feel like I will not be believed. This guy said a lot more people are reading me than I realize, which was cool, and how he was honored to have me on his show. I told him I will need a couple weeks. I guess if you want to hear this reluctant one talk out of the shadows, then you can watch this blog, and in a month or so, say july seventeen, I will know what to say.
UPDATE... they disappeared.... I did not write down their name....
The radio guys disappeared.... interview never happened, though the guy sounded all excited about it, and told me I was much better known than I knew....
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