WE FIGHT FOR JUSTICE... NOT REVENGE!
I think a lot about free-will, and always have. Studies in philosophy, particularly feminist philosophy, taught me the value of not allowing the dominant, patriarchal, dog eat dog capitalist mind-set to devour me. The view of women throughout history taught me about repression. To this day all over the world oppression continues. OFTEN CLOAKED by religion, this is simply ABUSE in other countries when it happens. And it does, and most often the women drop the charges, forgive the men.
How could I end up the head of a religion, which some aspects were, at least, involved in behavior that seems cult like to me, though... intelligence only gave me the vaguest NEED TO KNOW information, because they knew I was not going to go along with them... I heard about Acolytes who watched me on the web all the time. Others underground evidently doing the same thing. I could not feel more sorrow over your suffering. KNOW THIS. I do have empathy for ALL CONCERNED. I do believe in peace after war. Learning the bloody lessons of war and then using better methods to resolve our differences, like negotiations. Right now the world is controlled by corporate interests, stock holders who do not give a damn if they are polluting.
I heard also about people going to classes about me. Many tried to convert to classic Christianity and follow me, though I have always been an addition to religion, or at least something to think about, a way to save this conduit to God. To get rid if the SALT THE CHRIST TRIED TO GET THROWN OUT OF THE SCRIPTURE. I was inspired by the Jewish Psalms so much that I thought I should convert, for awhile. I have known since the beginning though that my ideas did not fit in any existing religion, so I could not commit to them fully. I do not wish to be defined by a system of ideas that I DO NOT BELIEVE ARE RELEVANT ANYMORE, and many are based on ancient myths that were around long before Christ to describe a deity.
I did not take a leap of faith. God threw me off cliffs and again and again... I thought I was being punished at first, instead I was being taught that the hand of God seemed to always be there to catch me before I hit the ground. Out of nowhere, from a place I could not plan, the right thing was often done in the war.
The war... of course I think of nothing other than what I know about this operation, slowly digesting still the deaths and carnage and cannibalism and murdering parents and turning the kids into drugged out soldiers... the cameras watching me, that I thought were this weird intrusion at times, and at others a way of communicating with people who liked me, or hated me at times.. Preaching to the television, without knowing what was being done with my words, was part of someone else's plan. I was an easy mark to play, an innocent who had no clue what his actions were causing.
I knew there was blood when I said attack, early on, when people kept asking me questions I was not qualified to answer, and intruding on a private experience, painful and mind blowing, which I begged you to let me find a cave and work through this, but I was just this brain washed guy they thought would love the FAME AND FORTUNE of being the OLIGARCHIES ONE WORLD CREATING CHRIST.... OPERATION BLUEBEAM SENT ME INTO PEOPLE'S LIVES AS CHRIST. I BELIEVED THIS AS WELL.
Though I thought my communications with all but the spies, who put parts of my life on tv shows... I never suspected people I was passing on the street had seen me on cameras.... like that poor guy who took pictures of me.... when I was being blasted out over the net. Had I known I would have considered his annoying but NOTHING I would be threatening about. I was trying to scare people off, because I felt the hatred of my enemies. My life had been threatened many times, by powerful people and without insurance and connections and world wide fame in intelligence, and religious circles. My Christ became so popular and believed by Catholics, that when I asked for a Mormon bible, instead of Catholic, converted. I began to believe they hated me, because I asked for the Mormon bible, because they thought Christ returned to America... and since this seemed to be happening to me, as this supernatural being that had always been at my center, though covered in behavior I was puzzled I had done, usually stoned out of my mind.... I wanted to be moral, that was very important to me..
I found out about my religious followers and my web fame and was so stunned that I began drawing stupid, terrible drawings that HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER made fun of, after having worked with a side I was on before, then turned on me... they brought in this character to be me, a creepy bi sexual land lord who drew stick figure pictures and hung them up, and when asked about said they were drawings of his family. He was also sharpening all these sticks, and I had been carving walking sticks, and painting them, that could be turned into weapons though that is hardly their purpose. Just fodder for comedians, the joke they thought of, to tear me down. I did not know enough about why their opinion changed to get it.... I just quit watching the show... but before that, they came on live one night, after I had been burning candles all week, and had this table laid out with all these different holy books.. I was trying to approach this as a matter of spirituality, not revolution.
I did not want people to copy my behavior. To do what you asked of me, to make decisions for this alternative reality to the one I had lived in all my life, was mostly folly so you could make me the front guy, and BUST ME as someone said to me, when the tv was very focused on me, giving me a lot of messages they could only get to me that way. I was and possibly still am, though I hope not, a HOSTAGE OF THE BLACK UNDERGROUND. And as the Sheldon guy on big bang told me, on abc, the white folks channel, NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. I knew Mexico was on my side, though of course later they had their reservations, which I certainly understand now.
MY PRIVATE LIFE WAS STOLEN, AND SOLD BY OTHERS... MY NAME WAS EVOKED FOR ACTS OF PIRACY, that included making people buy so much insurance they had no money left, after I made a big, angry deal in front of the spies cameras on me about how I had insurance, and loved it, etc... and I meant that attacking me would cost them, because to my enemies I always emphasized that I wanted them to tear things apart if I was killed//// and while to me this was part of the PUFFER FISH I had become to psych out my enemies whenever possible, to avoid fighting as much as possible. Fights and killing...
When I asked people to choose a side in my blog, I meant were you with the one percent or the ninety nine percent.? Of course this statement in the underground exposed me to all these groups readyvto fight each other. I was surprised as hell by this revelation, new pieces in the puzzle, but I learned little about what they represented.... or how much I would hate some of the things they were doing, enough that in the end, my thinking is more along the lines the leftest ideas of socialists. I believe collective ownership of many industries, and raising all life styles, instead of a few trillionaires.
Power needs to be spread around, and that is what money is, what it buys.... first and foremost. All people are equal, and deserve better lives. The idea of the cream rising to the top, etc... are excuses of a failed society. ALL CITIZENS NEED TO TREATED the same by the system, but our present one is so corrupt that the most powerful would all be jailed just from the little I know. They would not survive a revolution based on revenge. The dark secrets that would release a hell of hatred across the globe, making people act in what one might as well call demonic ways -- killing those they think responsible..... when really, if this is the way the world is run, and they went along...
Well, then we need to change the way the world is run. The system, the civilization, creates the citizens. They are not born bad, or criminals because of their religion, or level or wealth, skin tone -- all the unscientific, leading to xenophobic reactions that lead to stereotyping, which is pretty much the enemy of truth when trying to judge another human being. EVERYONE IS AN INDIVIDUAL. i DO not like when people decide they are more or less than other people.
Both stances are shamed by philosophy, reality, etc... humans have their ways of judging one another that boggle my mind. When I learned that my criticism in my writing had caused death, and a war with a country, and actions in others, that I was never consulted on why they were attacking... unless the very last second. I was criticized by WILL FERRELL, who I owe a great debt to, even if he does hate me at this point, or was used as psychological warfare against me, to make me think so... if he believed what he said, he should hate me. ALAS, IT WAS A TOTAL LIE. He claimed that I left troops to be slaughtered by the British. I did no such thing. I was told the British had landed in Florida. I was watching events unfold as a non participant, which I had felt since the start.... from the time I heard THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO and was too stunned to respond to this, which may have given the green light for people to think I was moving there.
People were always thinking I was moving somewhere, when I had no money to go anywhere... just had no clue. God's will and man's was done. I wrote and spoke to the bugs, who I knew were getting out to friend and foe because on tv some criticized me, and others liked me, or showed me characters doing behavior similar to mine, Eric Kruptke, and the Supernatural staff are heroes I hope. They showed me my criticism of prosperity getting people killed. I was surprised they were taking what I wrote and showing it all bloody.
The trench coat the angel wore then, Castial, was something I always wore at about that tine, and on and off all my life..... like they showed, I had also released some vile shit on the world. They also showed a blue dog democrat, who was shot in the face, being attacked. Later, I would learn my words had led to many deaths. I did write a lot about killing back then, though in my mind these deaths were in the context of a revolution, lost fighting to change the world.
I NEVER WANTED PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES AND OTHERS, THOUGH NOT IN THAT ORDER.... a very, very bad joke leads to people equating my story about a God, Ralph, who hated the over-populated world and occasionally killed people when he got pissed about some animal going extinct that he had always loved, had watched evolve from nothing to life.... I talked about over population, etc. I wrote these things, and said it on the radio after writing in the voice of this serial killer Johnny Pain, which I went by at the station... and wrote in my blog, among other voices... though it was a big part of my comedy, there was little violence in my writing.
I was not meant to win a revolution, I was supposed to act in a way that would benefit the oligarchy, the usa, money makers, union hating, etc.... once they said HE IS TOO MUCH LIKE HIS MOTHER, who I thought at the time they meant union president, but later I learned, as became common knowledge to my world, as a leader in a communist movement, underground, and this is why her presonality seemed to change over night.... going from politically involved, to sitting around knitting, not talking about those issues and politics like we did when we met presidential candidates at picnics, and talked to them a bit as they tried to get Mom to tell her union they should back them. Bitch Bye... spelling the last name wrong... the first... his son came in and had his same jon later... Sorry for yet anotherr digression. I was saying operation bluebeam did not work, because I becane way too Christ like for their tastes.
They wanted a Machiavellian leader of a cult, and thought I would love being worshiped, when I had actually seen the Face of God, to me, in a night I awoke after three visions that were the most intense dreams I have had, nothing like any dream... I woke up after each stunned, especially seeing God, so immense out there in space, far from me... a creation I have to guess at the immensity of size, because I was far away and Gods face was huge. Nothing like a human at all... we egocentric apes who made a God in our Own Image.... claimed God made man in his image. Sigh. That way the humans could be Gods.. This God who did all these amazing things in my life was the true power of everything to me, the one who creates all out of himself, a space with a few chemical components that can be given free will, instead of acting just like He does Himself.
ASKING humans to live like God is ridiculous. The messages of God are in our DNA, genes which make us kind if activated, or scared of people who are strangers or look different... how to treat each other, and survive to keep the species going. I am not saying we cannot refine on the ape EO WILSON describes when he shows how much alike our behaviors are. How predictable humans are when you look at them as apes..... No, we have brains that are the organ that is supposed to adjust our basic program to go along with new realities, react with creativity to challenges to our lives...
I wonder all the time if I can trust the horrible portrait painted of me by the secret media language. They have colors they use and all this. Mine were purple and yellow, like my first business card. Purple means royalty, and believing in monarchies, and with my kingly blood who many trace back to Christ -- which was made fun of by the Jews in charge of Preacher, who made me their enemy years ago.... when my name became associated with a group that harmed Jews. I stopped this, I hope, though getting the mayor of chicago to retire.... he had seen me in action, knew I could easily get rid of him in a town filled with murderous zealots who came here to live near me. MAn, WHEN THIS FIRST started, all these new people moved into my apartment building.
The show, again, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, did another thing, when they were desperate, possibly losing, and needed my help. He told me they had people in the building... and I wanted to go to them... perhaps they meant the guys upstairs who banged on the floor if I said something cool at times, and other times as a warning not to write something. Occasionally if they wanted me to pay attention to something on a show, they would do their bang bang on the floor. Once I wanted quiet and was going crazy and banged on the ceiling with a bat, and they came on the TV, saying sonething about my using a bat on my friends...... To any other neighbor, doing this after hearing banging all night, this would be normal, but they were also my body guards, as I learned later, when this one group took over the town and started killing off all these people. They showed black hands holding guns, and all these guys upstairs were black, called me boss when I saw them. I knew we worked together but I could never bring myself to break that fourth wall....
I was afraid they would think I was crazy, or pretend like they thought I was crazy because they have orders not to talk to me me about this...... Already the human cost to me simply in meeting me, while nothing really, I know this sounds insane.... I guess there was a fear of facing reality inside of me that was stronger than I was. I retreated into denial, cloaked myself with heroes stories about myself, and the belief that I was going to save this planet if I could.
I do not like that the people who were duped into focusing their religion on me instead of God, of whom I am a willing and humble servant. A son who has a father he respects who has taught him well and prepared him for life, who he wishes to earn a similar respect from. I have a myth which feels real to my morality; a path I believe God would want me on, the most scientific, and moral way of living I have discovered that I can live. I know there are a lot better life styles than mine for other people, this is simply the one I need to function as a messenger, of a God who wishes you to understand you are immortal souls. Though I am the first to say that what you believe does not much matter to God, though he provides the hints of the best ways we have free will and do not always live up to working out and eating right -- I really miss working out... the back surgeries, the constant pain, being disabled, were all terrible tragedies at the tine.
I was just finishing my first book and now was writing comedy that was blowing all these people away, and being seen as raising an army, playing along with operation bluebeam to such a poinnt... it was told to me by one source that I had been hypnotized various times over my life, and told to forget it, A military intelligence professor, a radical, when I asked him for a deeper book on what was happening in intelligence, gave me a book describing how easily they could hypnotize people and get them to do things.\
I think he might have been told about what was happening with me, though I am not sure?
Speaking of deaths... another that happened because of my work, right when I put up the first call for revolution, I specifically asked kurt vonneguet to put on his armor, and that this tine his march would not endin Dresden, but peace. I started getting all these calls from where he lives, Iowa, and where the Iowa writers workshop is, where he teaches. I did not pick up, as I almost never did unless they were friends. Like when we decided to move, all these realtors started calling us... I was just in general freaked out by people knowing we were moving... and calling us...
God filled me with revulsion about becoming part of the star machine, a terror in a way.... though a large part of me wanted this, had known my entire life I would be famous, rich... but infamous, and poor because I would not accept money I could have legally, though not morally, so I turned it down in about the worst way possible, but in a poetic moment I wanted to make a statement. I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS MONEY and did not see myself getting any. The world on my tv and in real life were so separated in my mind. Same with the radio. When they did interconnect, like when I et killers or james.... and heard right away when I had these weed dealers over, after feeling like I had made some huge win in the war, and it would soon be over....
I feel a bit like someone who had a bout with mental illness, then was cured of delusions and such by medication. I knew a man find with med's, homeless and talking to himself, filthy, etc, without... a room mate I had at a group home, where I lived while first going to school, because I could, and it was in a great neighborhood. My life has been filled with bouts of deep depression, which I tried all kinds of things to fight over the years. I still got them occasionally, because I was always doing something socially inept that I hated myself for if I was drinking or not. I felt a lot of guilt when I got sober, and more when I relapsed.
The personality change was startling to people. Sometimes I was fine, other times I discovered this darkness inside of me, a liar, self promoting -- which I was called once in a litany of criticism, and I responded with the truth, YOU ACTED LIKE NO ONE KNEW WHO I WAS AND NO ONE BOUGHT MY BOOKS.. I was SELLING MYSELF...AND SURE I tried to do it. I wanted fame and fortune, and this seemed a way to get the seeds out there. I gave out business cards all the time, to get new readers also because I was proud of the work I was doing, and wanted to make people laugh, as the stories had made me.
Or think or feel. Comments on the violence of our culture. I told myself. I never wrote violent shit, except in the book one war, and that is a very small part of the book. Then Johnny Pain kind of came out of nowhere and I wrote in his violent voice, kidding about serious topics at times... others in pure comedy, like saying I booby trapped my apartment. This was done by the Colorado shooter of the Batman movie. People, myself included, were pissed that the first new batman movie with bale made me out to be the joker. I had them burn the blood money offered me, impulsively I said... the mafia worked with me, not saying which one... the radio station I was on, and the cab company I drove for.. they helped my side a lot and later we had problems. I have said enough on the past about this topic, and prefer a more peaceful solution to our differences, as I always would have.
I used to want to get back at the spies, take my revenge by fucking with them.... they were going to spy on me all the time, and then I thought use the media to taunt me, I was at war. I was so far off from the truth, boxing shadows I projected on the wall, while the real enemy ran rampant.
A plan was needed. I talked often of having a plan. One reason was to keep my life. I did not want you to think for one second that your sacrifices had been in vain, but I did not want to go along with the blood I was hearing about, let alone the race war they told you I wanted.... or you thought this from two incidents in my life, that taken out of the entire context of everything I have ever written or said, and said I wanted a race war. I guess reading what you did from a hostage, it became this. There was certainly already tension. I hate thinking about how many lives might have been saved had I simply met with people in power and learned what effects I was having. I did not want to be a spy and hide all this shit. I did not want to break the law, I wanted to be the law.
This is why law enforcement and I usually get along. They freaked out over my behavior once, with good reason, though the results were.... nightmarish, and cost me many soldiers, including the police. This is when I was finally made fun of in the media, when the cops were no longer protecting me. When this happened, this one Jewish woman went on some new york tv show and said something about how I was going to have to eat some humble pie now that the cops were gone... they call them the blue. She was making a blueberry pie at the time, fran ... something, with the annoying voice who was on the NANNY.... operation bluebeam was all about the media, and some of them went through hell because of this... they start out wanting to do art, then end up having to play all these mind games in the name of protecting their people on tv, etc...
I remember being astounded when I learned that all the different stations have different affiiliations... they acted like I should have known Disney is nazi, That Oprha winfrey is a nazi... I criticized her slightly in a very angry bit about that guy who got people killed with a native american sweat lodge... a cruel, money making fool who I said was oprah approved, because he was on her show a lot....... then she announces the next day she is leaving town. She congradulated me and and shit when this first happened, and I was wearing this brown hoodie all the time that said LUCKY, which is the color signifying Nazi's... which is why they introduced me, through video, to all these leaders who were black and had Africa, basically... or something of the sort. Anyways, the mayor comes on and says IF YOU DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO LEAVE, DO NOT SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT THEM.... This gave me the inkling that she might be moving because of what I wrote, which I had not given much thought to.
I then wrote that oprah was the trooper of the century, to say I had nothing bad to say about her, and not knowing anything about her then, I regretted her leaving town, and taking all the money her show brought into town, and jobs, to another state. On TV they suddenly flashed all these pictures of Oprha smiling. I know, my life is exceedingly weird..... ANYWAYS, a woman from Glee, a show I loved, came on with a hitler mustash and told me Ophra was a Nazi, and after that I went after her, and she not only moved her show, she sold the television studio....
I can be a reactionary at times, and when I first learned about the nazi stuff, which came when they tried to show me a film, narrated by Hitler, saying the death camps and such was NOT HIS VISION.. realizing the people who had used my revolution to take over, after one group was defeated who might have won if I had went along, but I trusted no one, so I fell back on just saving the country.... which I should not have. The boarder. If I had known we were going to war I would have opened that boarder. I answered this question when asked by Any Poeler. Her AND Tina Fey I know of and feel horrible about what they were put thru during this. The depth of your belief created zealots.
The thought Christ seemed to have returned and was having visions of ending the world. I can see the horror potential in what happened to me. How you saw these things, and hollywood put films out about the end of the world, or making fun of the idea. THE END OF THE WORLD, again, by that canadian guy who does preacher who I have come to despise, the friend of serial sexual abuser james franco. I forgive him and all that, and am glad I learned how people were viewing me, what had happened. Masterbating in front of the camera was all that kept me from joining THE OBAMA administration as a speech writer. I had no idea so many people were watching me or that this act was different somehow than all the times you filmed in the toilet, in my bedroon, etc... you had film of me doing everything for years. I was telling you to leave me alone now. It took this for the truth to finally get to me. My learning curve is written in great swaths of blood.
He has a character in there who masterbates, and then heads a cannibal cult. Then he has the Jesus as stupid in Preacher, and wants to show his pee pee. They show him peeing, as they filmed me peeing. This is about the speed of my critics -- he is dumb. I am more intelligent than most of them and more educated than all of them.... I see in my critics how they dumb everything down, and do bot ever get specific.
Except in Jessica Jones.... there is a directness there, an anger from people whose minds were controlled; that was not my doing.... just the actor they inserted a personality into to play a role, king of kings.. I found myself homeless, not benefiting at all from the hoopla around me when this started.... I internalized, to write this amazing poetry that was coming to me, surprising me, feeling like I was Jesus coming into my own, waking up to preach thru poetry, and my Jesus writing.
I am not very acquainted with people who are fanatically religious. People who are filled with a need to live a certain type of life because of some ancient bible. I hate all that wives are subjected to a husbands this or that. Equality all the way... People were reading the bible and looking for me, and finding someone else in there. I imagine there was a mass exodus of believers at that point.
The people associated with this had colors that they gave meaning to. I heard about YELLOWISMM, during a period they were allowed to ask questions -- which says all life is art. Which would explain why I as an artist kept the cameras on all the time. People I think were forced to watch me. I again feel horrible for people who were forced to create all this stuff to communicate with me, working insane hours at times I know. Stewart and Colbert for awhile forced to do three shows a day, changing them slightly.... one day John came on, said, they throw me in a concrete room between shows.' I think of this metaphorically as what happened to a lot of people in tv. I extrapolate from once someone saying on tv, scott, can we take the afternoon off.... and I realized how hard they must be working to ask me this.... which I would never have wanted.
Cults do these things, make you work for free and all these things. Crazed hours, stifle your creativity, etc... I would never want to be responsible for such a mind fuck to people. A rape of their free will. I wrote all these things but I was not in control.
I remember Hugh Laurie and others holding yup plants when I wrote that I was a left wing green and anyone who said differently was a liar. People were trying to say I was conservative or whatever. Years later, when they hated me, he came on and said... AND YOUR PAINTINGS SUCK. I am nor sure what happened to him during this time. I know I criticized the show, a lot, when his chronic pain went away with psych drugs. I am in chronic pain, and oh God I wish it was that easy, but like the episode where a prof. pitcher's arm falls off in a game, because of smoking pot, and some fungus that is on it sometimes... I loved his acting in the show, and wooster and jeeves, man he shines in that.....
I gave up on the idea of ever being famous so at first on my blog I made fun of celebrities, and was pretty cruel about some shit, like Michael Jackson, the pedophile I hated so much, funny stories I put in my book written during his trial. They lionize a pedophile whose music is mediocre at best, really. A few good songs, but ebony and ivory does not exactly qualify as song of the century. Regardless, when the internet comedy show became a hit with celebrities, they went back and read my comedy and loved it, and I was offered the movie contract and all that stuff I did not end up doing, because operation bluebeam did not work. I kept demanding sovereign nations, as they tried to take over.
Their puppet.... the brainwashed boy went awry.... who turned on his masters, knowing he was uniquely positioned to destroy the religion they had built around me. I heard many of the things done by people involved with this church to trust what they were preaching, and knowing supposed clues were taken from my everyday actions in life and used in the cosmology also entered into ny decision. I did not want people killing themselves or others
I still have people out there who are reading me, or I would not see references to me in the media, which my connections often make me aware of. I watched Gotham, and the Joker has a cult. And next season is working with mr penguins. In intelligence, they use a lot of animal metaphors to refer to groups, and penguins were used for Mexican's for awhile... because of a short story I wrote, where only the pope and some penguins, a few bums and a couple cops went to heaven.... well, all penguins. Anyways, we were allies, along with long suffering Puerto Rico, which is breaking my heart at the moment after the damaging storm. They told me WE WERE WITH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING at some point, when a lot of people seemed in danger.
The race war forced my allies to fight blacks, and when I found out about blacks being murdered I stopped it; someone had inserted this divide and conquer tactic into the class war. This is about economics, not your religion, or your race, or your culture. This is about a tiny number of people who are proving in this class war to be the out right enemy of most of the world. We would all live better if that money was spread around. There is enough wealth to end hunger and poverty seventy times over in this world. Just no one has made the effort,
This is why in the states, the decision making needs to be taken out of the corporate hands for a period of ten years, where by changes will be instituted that will lead the world away from war, into a prosperity for all people. I hope the change can be world wide. Certainly Russia and China are willing to help those of us who wish to subvert our predatory system, and have a society based more on quality of life issues. Yes, both those countries have a long way to go, but if we were all at a solemn peace, and using the fund I propose raising to address ALL world concerns, etc...
I do not know after losing all those allies if my words are just dust in the wind now. Certainly the Jews are trying to paint me as crazy now, and I gave the wrong impression for awhile, spent too much time criticizing them when the problem was I sounded like I was stereotyping. I practically had to add a footnote at every stage that I do not blame everyone who is Jewish for what some people do who are Jewish, and also that from what I saw, the Jews are a lot less powerful than people think, which is why they work with the government so much. But the government is just one of the many power bases in this country. There are people they cannot afford to cross. I witnessed two different presidents in situations where they lost control of the white house.
The problem becomes all the other groups and many who feel I betrayed them, because I worked with them and was proud to but then was blamed with offering soldiers up to be slaughtered.... I was shown ships surrounding England, New York, and was puzzled as to why we were doing this... both times the answers seemed money. I think now that if the generals in charge thought this was the best move at the time, they should have followed thru, not ask me out of the blue if they should. Of course I am going to question your intelligence, reasoning, etc... I am a sane person, and though the world seemed to want me to make decisions about countries that I know nothing about, and used my words in Europe to worship me as a demi God, I guess. Amazing to hear.
The man in a cage, who can only be contacted thru tv and the internet. I wrote right when I launched the movement, which I announced by starting five web sites, talking about radio show, and putting up revolutionary poems, and bam... the world changed. The group that was doing operation blue beam had set up for this. Then I rather refused fame, but ended up being filmed all the time.... how humiliating.
I am adding more to this later....
etc...
How could I end up the head of a religion, which some aspects were, at least, involved in behavior that seems cult like to me, though... intelligence only gave me the vaguest NEED TO KNOW information, because they knew I was not going to go along with them... I heard about Acolytes who watched me on the web all the time. Others underground evidently doing the same thing. I could not feel more sorrow over your suffering. KNOW THIS. I do have empathy for ALL CONCERNED. I do believe in peace after war. Learning the bloody lessons of war and then using better methods to resolve our differences, like negotiations. Right now the world is controlled by corporate interests, stock holders who do not give a damn if they are polluting.
I heard also about people going to classes about me. Many tried to convert to classic Christianity and follow me, though I have always been an addition to religion, or at least something to think about, a way to save this conduit to God. To get rid if the SALT THE CHRIST TRIED TO GET THROWN OUT OF THE SCRIPTURE. I was inspired by the Jewish Psalms so much that I thought I should convert, for awhile. I have known since the beginning though that my ideas did not fit in any existing religion, so I could not commit to them fully. I do not wish to be defined by a system of ideas that I DO NOT BELIEVE ARE RELEVANT ANYMORE, and many are based on ancient myths that were around long before Christ to describe a deity.
I did not take a leap of faith. God threw me off cliffs and again and again... I thought I was being punished at first, instead I was being taught that the hand of God seemed to always be there to catch me before I hit the ground. Out of nowhere, from a place I could not plan, the right thing was often done in the war.
The war... of course I think of nothing other than what I know about this operation, slowly digesting still the deaths and carnage and cannibalism and murdering parents and turning the kids into drugged out soldiers... the cameras watching me, that I thought were this weird intrusion at times, and at others a way of communicating with people who liked me, or hated me at times.. Preaching to the television, without knowing what was being done with my words, was part of someone else's plan. I was an easy mark to play, an innocent who had no clue what his actions were causing.
I knew there was blood when I said attack, early on, when people kept asking me questions I was not qualified to answer, and intruding on a private experience, painful and mind blowing, which I begged you to let me find a cave and work through this, but I was just this brain washed guy they thought would love the FAME AND FORTUNE of being the OLIGARCHIES ONE WORLD CREATING CHRIST.... OPERATION BLUEBEAM SENT ME INTO PEOPLE'S LIVES AS CHRIST. I BELIEVED THIS AS WELL.
Though I thought my communications with all but the spies, who put parts of my life on tv shows... I never suspected people I was passing on the street had seen me on cameras.... like that poor guy who took pictures of me.... when I was being blasted out over the net. Had I known I would have considered his annoying but NOTHING I would be threatening about. I was trying to scare people off, because I felt the hatred of my enemies. My life had been threatened many times, by powerful people and without insurance and connections and world wide fame in intelligence, and religious circles. My Christ became so popular and believed by Catholics, that when I asked for a Mormon bible, instead of Catholic, converted. I began to believe they hated me, because I asked for the Mormon bible, because they thought Christ returned to America... and since this seemed to be happening to me, as this supernatural being that had always been at my center, though covered in behavior I was puzzled I had done, usually stoned out of my mind.... I wanted to be moral, that was very important to me..
I found out about my religious followers and my web fame and was so stunned that I began drawing stupid, terrible drawings that HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER made fun of, after having worked with a side I was on before, then turned on me... they brought in this character to be me, a creepy bi sexual land lord who drew stick figure pictures and hung them up, and when asked about said they were drawings of his family. He was also sharpening all these sticks, and I had been carving walking sticks, and painting them, that could be turned into weapons though that is hardly their purpose. Just fodder for comedians, the joke they thought of, to tear me down. I did not know enough about why their opinion changed to get it.... I just quit watching the show... but before that, they came on live one night, after I had been burning candles all week, and had this table laid out with all these different holy books.. I was trying to approach this as a matter of spirituality, not revolution.
I did not want people to copy my behavior. To do what you asked of me, to make decisions for this alternative reality to the one I had lived in all my life, was mostly folly so you could make me the front guy, and BUST ME as someone said to me, when the tv was very focused on me, giving me a lot of messages they could only get to me that way. I was and possibly still am, though I hope not, a HOSTAGE OF THE BLACK UNDERGROUND. And as the Sheldon guy on big bang told me, on abc, the white folks channel, NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. I knew Mexico was on my side, though of course later they had their reservations, which I certainly understand now.
MY PRIVATE LIFE WAS STOLEN, AND SOLD BY OTHERS... MY NAME WAS EVOKED FOR ACTS OF PIRACY, that included making people buy so much insurance they had no money left, after I made a big, angry deal in front of the spies cameras on me about how I had insurance, and loved it, etc... and I meant that attacking me would cost them, because to my enemies I always emphasized that I wanted them to tear things apart if I was killed//// and while to me this was part of the PUFFER FISH I had become to psych out my enemies whenever possible, to avoid fighting as much as possible. Fights and killing...
When I asked people to choose a side in my blog, I meant were you with the one percent or the ninety nine percent.? Of course this statement in the underground exposed me to all these groups readyvto fight each other. I was surprised as hell by this revelation, new pieces in the puzzle, but I learned little about what they represented.... or how much I would hate some of the things they were doing, enough that in the end, my thinking is more along the lines the leftest ideas of socialists. I believe collective ownership of many industries, and raising all life styles, instead of a few trillionaires.
Power needs to be spread around, and that is what money is, what it buys.... first and foremost. All people are equal, and deserve better lives. The idea of the cream rising to the top, etc... are excuses of a failed society. ALL CITIZENS NEED TO TREATED the same by the system, but our present one is so corrupt that the most powerful would all be jailed just from the little I know. They would not survive a revolution based on revenge. The dark secrets that would release a hell of hatred across the globe, making people act in what one might as well call demonic ways -- killing those they think responsible..... when really, if this is the way the world is run, and they went along...
Well, then we need to change the way the world is run. The system, the civilization, creates the citizens. They are not born bad, or criminals because of their religion, or level or wealth, skin tone -- all the unscientific, leading to xenophobic reactions that lead to stereotyping, which is pretty much the enemy of truth when trying to judge another human being. EVERYONE IS AN INDIVIDUAL. i DO not like when people decide they are more or less than other people.
Both stances are shamed by philosophy, reality, etc... humans have their ways of judging one another that boggle my mind. When I learned that my criticism in my writing had caused death, and a war with a country, and actions in others, that I was never consulted on why they were attacking... unless the very last second. I was criticized by WILL FERRELL, who I owe a great debt to, even if he does hate me at this point, or was used as psychological warfare against me, to make me think so... if he believed what he said, he should hate me. ALAS, IT WAS A TOTAL LIE. He claimed that I left troops to be slaughtered by the British. I did no such thing. I was told the British had landed in Florida. I was watching events unfold as a non participant, which I had felt since the start.... from the time I heard THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO and was too stunned to respond to this, which may have given the green light for people to think I was moving there.
People were always thinking I was moving somewhere, when I had no money to go anywhere... just had no clue. God's will and man's was done. I wrote and spoke to the bugs, who I knew were getting out to friend and foe because on tv some criticized me, and others liked me, or showed me characters doing behavior similar to mine, Eric Kruptke, and the Supernatural staff are heroes I hope. They showed me my criticism of prosperity getting people killed. I was surprised they were taking what I wrote and showing it all bloody.
The trench coat the angel wore then, Castial, was something I always wore at about that tine, and on and off all my life..... like they showed, I had also released some vile shit on the world. They also showed a blue dog democrat, who was shot in the face, being attacked. Later, I would learn my words had led to many deaths. I did write a lot about killing back then, though in my mind these deaths were in the context of a revolution, lost fighting to change the world.
I NEVER WANTED PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES AND OTHERS, THOUGH NOT IN THAT ORDER.... a very, very bad joke leads to people equating my story about a God, Ralph, who hated the over-populated world and occasionally killed people when he got pissed about some animal going extinct that he had always loved, had watched evolve from nothing to life.... I talked about over population, etc. I wrote these things, and said it on the radio after writing in the voice of this serial killer Johnny Pain, which I went by at the station... and wrote in my blog, among other voices... though it was a big part of my comedy, there was little violence in my writing.
I was not meant to win a revolution, I was supposed to act in a way that would benefit the oligarchy, the usa, money makers, union hating, etc.... once they said HE IS TOO MUCH LIKE HIS MOTHER, who I thought at the time they meant union president, but later I learned, as became common knowledge to my world, as a leader in a communist movement, underground, and this is why her presonality seemed to change over night.... going from politically involved, to sitting around knitting, not talking about those issues and politics like we did when we met presidential candidates at picnics, and talked to them a bit as they tried to get Mom to tell her union they should back them. Bitch Bye... spelling the last name wrong... the first... his son came in and had his same jon later... Sorry for yet anotherr digression. I was saying operation bluebeam did not work, because I becane way too Christ like for their tastes.
They wanted a Machiavellian leader of a cult, and thought I would love being worshiped, when I had actually seen the Face of God, to me, in a night I awoke after three visions that were the most intense dreams I have had, nothing like any dream... I woke up after each stunned, especially seeing God, so immense out there in space, far from me... a creation I have to guess at the immensity of size, because I was far away and Gods face was huge. Nothing like a human at all... we egocentric apes who made a God in our Own Image.... claimed God made man in his image. Sigh. That way the humans could be Gods.. This God who did all these amazing things in my life was the true power of everything to me, the one who creates all out of himself, a space with a few chemical components that can be given free will, instead of acting just like He does Himself.
ASKING humans to live like God is ridiculous. The messages of God are in our DNA, genes which make us kind if activated, or scared of people who are strangers or look different... how to treat each other, and survive to keep the species going. I am not saying we cannot refine on the ape EO WILSON describes when he shows how much alike our behaviors are. How predictable humans are when you look at them as apes..... No, we have brains that are the organ that is supposed to adjust our basic program to go along with new realities, react with creativity to challenges to our lives...
I wonder all the time if I can trust the horrible portrait painted of me by the secret media language. They have colors they use and all this. Mine were purple and yellow, like my first business card. Purple means royalty, and believing in monarchies, and with my kingly blood who many trace back to Christ -- which was made fun of by the Jews in charge of Preacher, who made me their enemy years ago.... when my name became associated with a group that harmed Jews. I stopped this, I hope, though getting the mayor of chicago to retire.... he had seen me in action, knew I could easily get rid of him in a town filled with murderous zealots who came here to live near me. MAn, WHEN THIS FIRST started, all these new people moved into my apartment building.
The show, again, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, did another thing, when they were desperate, possibly losing, and needed my help. He told me they had people in the building... and I wanted to go to them... perhaps they meant the guys upstairs who banged on the floor if I said something cool at times, and other times as a warning not to write something. Occasionally if they wanted me to pay attention to something on a show, they would do their bang bang on the floor. Once I wanted quiet and was going crazy and banged on the ceiling with a bat, and they came on the TV, saying sonething about my using a bat on my friends...... To any other neighbor, doing this after hearing banging all night, this would be normal, but they were also my body guards, as I learned later, when this one group took over the town and started killing off all these people. They showed black hands holding guns, and all these guys upstairs were black, called me boss when I saw them. I knew we worked together but I could never bring myself to break that fourth wall....
I was afraid they would think I was crazy, or pretend like they thought I was crazy because they have orders not to talk to me me about this...... Already the human cost to me simply in meeting me, while nothing really, I know this sounds insane.... I guess there was a fear of facing reality inside of me that was stronger than I was. I retreated into denial, cloaked myself with heroes stories about myself, and the belief that I was going to save this planet if I could.
I do not like that the people who were duped into focusing their religion on me instead of God, of whom I am a willing and humble servant. A son who has a father he respects who has taught him well and prepared him for life, who he wishes to earn a similar respect from. I have a myth which feels real to my morality; a path I believe God would want me on, the most scientific, and moral way of living I have discovered that I can live. I know there are a lot better life styles than mine for other people, this is simply the one I need to function as a messenger, of a God who wishes you to understand you are immortal souls. Though I am the first to say that what you believe does not much matter to God, though he provides the hints of the best ways we have free will and do not always live up to working out and eating right -- I really miss working out... the back surgeries, the constant pain, being disabled, were all terrible tragedies at the tine.
I was just finishing my first book and now was writing comedy that was blowing all these people away, and being seen as raising an army, playing along with operation bluebeam to such a poinnt... it was told to me by one source that I had been hypnotized various times over my life, and told to forget it, A military intelligence professor, a radical, when I asked him for a deeper book on what was happening in intelligence, gave me a book describing how easily they could hypnotize people and get them to do things.\
I think he might have been told about what was happening with me, though I am not sure?
Speaking of deaths... another that happened because of my work, right when I put up the first call for revolution, I specifically asked kurt vonneguet to put on his armor, and that this tine his march would not endin Dresden, but peace. I started getting all these calls from where he lives, Iowa, and where the Iowa writers workshop is, where he teaches. I did not pick up, as I almost never did unless they were friends. Like when we decided to move, all these realtors started calling us... I was just in general freaked out by people knowing we were moving... and calling us...
God filled me with revulsion about becoming part of the star machine, a terror in a way.... though a large part of me wanted this, had known my entire life I would be famous, rich... but infamous, and poor because I would not accept money I could have legally, though not morally, so I turned it down in about the worst way possible, but in a poetic moment I wanted to make a statement. I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS MONEY and did not see myself getting any. The world on my tv and in real life were so separated in my mind. Same with the radio. When they did interconnect, like when I et killers or james.... and heard right away when I had these weed dealers over, after feeling like I had made some huge win in the war, and it would soon be over....
I feel a bit like someone who had a bout with mental illness, then was cured of delusions and such by medication. I knew a man find with med's, homeless and talking to himself, filthy, etc, without... a room mate I had at a group home, where I lived while first going to school, because I could, and it was in a great neighborhood. My life has been filled with bouts of deep depression, which I tried all kinds of things to fight over the years. I still got them occasionally, because I was always doing something socially inept that I hated myself for if I was drinking or not. I felt a lot of guilt when I got sober, and more when I relapsed.
The personality change was startling to people. Sometimes I was fine, other times I discovered this darkness inside of me, a liar, self promoting -- which I was called once in a litany of criticism, and I responded with the truth, YOU ACTED LIKE NO ONE KNEW WHO I WAS AND NO ONE BOUGHT MY BOOKS.. I was SELLING MYSELF...AND SURE I tried to do it. I wanted fame and fortune, and this seemed a way to get the seeds out there. I gave out business cards all the time, to get new readers also because I was proud of the work I was doing, and wanted to make people laugh, as the stories had made me.
Or think or feel. Comments on the violence of our culture. I told myself. I never wrote violent shit, except in the book one war, and that is a very small part of the book. Then Johnny Pain kind of came out of nowhere and I wrote in his violent voice, kidding about serious topics at times... others in pure comedy, like saying I booby trapped my apartment. This was done by the Colorado shooter of the Batman movie. People, myself included, were pissed that the first new batman movie with bale made me out to be the joker. I had them burn the blood money offered me, impulsively I said... the mafia worked with me, not saying which one... the radio station I was on, and the cab company I drove for.. they helped my side a lot and later we had problems. I have said enough on the past about this topic, and prefer a more peaceful solution to our differences, as I always would have.
I used to want to get back at the spies, take my revenge by fucking with them.... they were going to spy on me all the time, and then I thought use the media to taunt me, I was at war. I was so far off from the truth, boxing shadows I projected on the wall, while the real enemy ran rampant.
A plan was needed. I talked often of having a plan. One reason was to keep my life. I did not want you to think for one second that your sacrifices had been in vain, but I did not want to go along with the blood I was hearing about, let alone the race war they told you I wanted.... or you thought this from two incidents in my life, that taken out of the entire context of everything I have ever written or said, and said I wanted a race war. I guess reading what you did from a hostage, it became this. There was certainly already tension. I hate thinking about how many lives might have been saved had I simply met with people in power and learned what effects I was having. I did not want to be a spy and hide all this shit. I did not want to break the law, I wanted to be the law.
This is why law enforcement and I usually get along. They freaked out over my behavior once, with good reason, though the results were.... nightmarish, and cost me many soldiers, including the police. This is when I was finally made fun of in the media, when the cops were no longer protecting me. When this happened, this one Jewish woman went on some new york tv show and said something about how I was going to have to eat some humble pie now that the cops were gone... they call them the blue. She was making a blueberry pie at the time, fran ... something, with the annoying voice who was on the NANNY.... operation bluebeam was all about the media, and some of them went through hell because of this... they start out wanting to do art, then end up having to play all these mind games in the name of protecting their people on tv, etc...
I remember being astounded when I learned that all the different stations have different affiiliations... they acted like I should have known Disney is nazi, That Oprha winfrey is a nazi... I criticized her slightly in a very angry bit about that guy who got people killed with a native american sweat lodge... a cruel, money making fool who I said was oprah approved, because he was on her show a lot....... then she announces the next day she is leaving town. She congradulated me and and shit when this first happened, and I was wearing this brown hoodie all the time that said LUCKY, which is the color signifying Nazi's... which is why they introduced me, through video, to all these leaders who were black and had Africa, basically... or something of the sort. Anyways, the mayor comes on and says IF YOU DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO LEAVE, DO NOT SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT THEM.... This gave me the inkling that she might be moving because of what I wrote, which I had not given much thought to.
I then wrote that oprah was the trooper of the century, to say I had nothing bad to say about her, and not knowing anything about her then, I regretted her leaving town, and taking all the money her show brought into town, and jobs, to another state. On TV they suddenly flashed all these pictures of Oprha smiling. I know, my life is exceedingly weird..... ANYWAYS, a woman from Glee, a show I loved, came on with a hitler mustash and told me Ophra was a Nazi, and after that I went after her, and she not only moved her show, she sold the television studio....
I can be a reactionary at times, and when I first learned about the nazi stuff, which came when they tried to show me a film, narrated by Hitler, saying the death camps and such was NOT HIS VISION.. realizing the people who had used my revolution to take over, after one group was defeated who might have won if I had went along, but I trusted no one, so I fell back on just saving the country.... which I should not have. The boarder. If I had known we were going to war I would have opened that boarder. I answered this question when asked by Any Poeler. Her AND Tina Fey I know of and feel horrible about what they were put thru during this. The depth of your belief created zealots.
The thought Christ seemed to have returned and was having visions of ending the world. I can see the horror potential in what happened to me. How you saw these things, and hollywood put films out about the end of the world, or making fun of the idea. THE END OF THE WORLD, again, by that canadian guy who does preacher who I have come to despise, the friend of serial sexual abuser james franco. I forgive him and all that, and am glad I learned how people were viewing me, what had happened. Masterbating in front of the camera was all that kept me from joining THE OBAMA administration as a speech writer. I had no idea so many people were watching me or that this act was different somehow than all the times you filmed in the toilet, in my bedroon, etc... you had film of me doing everything for years. I was telling you to leave me alone now. It took this for the truth to finally get to me. My learning curve is written in great swaths of blood.
He has a character in there who masterbates, and then heads a cannibal cult. Then he has the Jesus as stupid in Preacher, and wants to show his pee pee. They show him peeing, as they filmed me peeing. This is about the speed of my critics -- he is dumb. I am more intelligent than most of them and more educated than all of them.... I see in my critics how they dumb everything down, and do bot ever get specific.
Except in Jessica Jones.... there is a directness there, an anger from people whose minds were controlled; that was not my doing.... just the actor they inserted a personality into to play a role, king of kings.. I found myself homeless, not benefiting at all from the hoopla around me when this started.... I internalized, to write this amazing poetry that was coming to me, surprising me, feeling like I was Jesus coming into my own, waking up to preach thru poetry, and my Jesus writing.
I am not very acquainted with people who are fanatically religious. People who are filled with a need to live a certain type of life because of some ancient bible. I hate all that wives are subjected to a husbands this or that. Equality all the way... People were reading the bible and looking for me, and finding someone else in there. I imagine there was a mass exodus of believers at that point.
The people associated with this had colors that they gave meaning to. I heard about YELLOWISMM, during a period they were allowed to ask questions -- which says all life is art. Which would explain why I as an artist kept the cameras on all the time. People I think were forced to watch me. I again feel horrible for people who were forced to create all this stuff to communicate with me, working insane hours at times I know. Stewart and Colbert for awhile forced to do three shows a day, changing them slightly.... one day John came on, said, they throw me in a concrete room between shows.' I think of this metaphorically as what happened to a lot of people in tv. I extrapolate from once someone saying on tv, scott, can we take the afternoon off.... and I realized how hard they must be working to ask me this.... which I would never have wanted.
Cults do these things, make you work for free and all these things. Crazed hours, stifle your creativity, etc... I would never want to be responsible for such a mind fuck to people. A rape of their free will. I wrote all these things but I was not in control.
I remember Hugh Laurie and others holding yup plants when I wrote that I was a left wing green and anyone who said differently was a liar. People were trying to say I was conservative or whatever. Years later, when they hated me, he came on and said... AND YOUR PAINTINGS SUCK. I am nor sure what happened to him during this time. I know I criticized the show, a lot, when his chronic pain went away with psych drugs. I am in chronic pain, and oh God I wish it was that easy, but like the episode where a prof. pitcher's arm falls off in a game, because of smoking pot, and some fungus that is on it sometimes... I loved his acting in the show, and wooster and jeeves, man he shines in that.....
I gave up on the idea of ever being famous so at first on my blog I made fun of celebrities, and was pretty cruel about some shit, like Michael Jackson, the pedophile I hated so much, funny stories I put in my book written during his trial. They lionize a pedophile whose music is mediocre at best, really. A few good songs, but ebony and ivory does not exactly qualify as song of the century. Regardless, when the internet comedy show became a hit with celebrities, they went back and read my comedy and loved it, and I was offered the movie contract and all that stuff I did not end up doing, because operation bluebeam did not work. I kept demanding sovereign nations, as they tried to take over.
Their puppet.... the brainwashed boy went awry.... who turned on his masters, knowing he was uniquely positioned to destroy the religion they had built around me. I heard many of the things done by people involved with this church to trust what they were preaching, and knowing supposed clues were taken from my everyday actions in life and used in the cosmology also entered into ny decision. I did not want people killing themselves or others
I still have people out there who are reading me, or I would not see references to me in the media, which my connections often make me aware of. I watched Gotham, and the Joker has a cult. And next season is working with mr penguins. In intelligence, they use a lot of animal metaphors to refer to groups, and penguins were used for Mexican's for awhile... because of a short story I wrote, where only the pope and some penguins, a few bums and a couple cops went to heaven.... well, all penguins. Anyways, we were allies, along with long suffering Puerto Rico, which is breaking my heart at the moment after the damaging storm. They told me WE WERE WITH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING at some point, when a lot of people seemed in danger.
The race war forced my allies to fight blacks, and when I found out about blacks being murdered I stopped it; someone had inserted this divide and conquer tactic into the class war. This is about economics, not your religion, or your race, or your culture. This is about a tiny number of people who are proving in this class war to be the out right enemy of most of the world. We would all live better if that money was spread around. There is enough wealth to end hunger and poverty seventy times over in this world. Just no one has made the effort,
This is why in the states, the decision making needs to be taken out of the corporate hands for a period of ten years, where by changes will be instituted that will lead the world away from war, into a prosperity for all people. I hope the change can be world wide. Certainly Russia and China are willing to help those of us who wish to subvert our predatory system, and have a society based more on quality of life issues. Yes, both those countries have a long way to go, but if we were all at a solemn peace, and using the fund I propose raising to address ALL world concerns, etc...
I do not know after losing all those allies if my words are just dust in the wind now. Certainly the Jews are trying to paint me as crazy now, and I gave the wrong impression for awhile, spent too much time criticizing them when the problem was I sounded like I was stereotyping. I practically had to add a footnote at every stage that I do not blame everyone who is Jewish for what some people do who are Jewish, and also that from what I saw, the Jews are a lot less powerful than people think, which is why they work with the government so much. But the government is just one of the many power bases in this country. There are people they cannot afford to cross. I witnessed two different presidents in situations where they lost control of the white house.
The problem becomes all the other groups and many who feel I betrayed them, because I worked with them and was proud to but then was blamed with offering soldiers up to be slaughtered.... I was shown ships surrounding England, New York, and was puzzled as to why we were doing this... both times the answers seemed money. I think now that if the generals in charge thought this was the best move at the time, they should have followed thru, not ask me out of the blue if they should. Of course I am going to question your intelligence, reasoning, etc... I am a sane person, and though the world seemed to want me to make decisions about countries that I know nothing about, and used my words in Europe to worship me as a demi God, I guess. Amazing to hear.
The man in a cage, who can only be contacted thru tv and the internet. I wrote right when I launched the movement, which I announced by starting five web sites, talking about radio show, and putting up revolutionary poems, and bam... the world changed. The group that was doing operation blue beam had set up for this. Then I rather refused fame, but ended up being filmed all the time.... how humiliating.
I am adding more to this later....
etc...
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