BOWIE CALLS ME A GANGSTER, A PORNSTAR, among other things in BLACKSTAR.

I believe I need to again address the criminal aspects of my life.  I came out trying to forgive everyone, and had no idea who was friend or foe or why, but I wanted everyone to be my friend... frankly, and that was a mistake.

I can't help it.   The gangster kingdom built up around me was destroyed by me, not you...  I did not create that.  I was coy about what I knew when I thought I was fighting some monolith that would not even show it's face.... and when it did, I never asked....  maybe that is where my fears came in.  AT THE TIME...

Anyways, he acts in the song like I cannot explain this.... well, I did.  You think I was in control, and if I was you hid it all too damn well, which I think was more just using me.   I mean if you can make a racist out of me you can make anything out of me, and then what you think means nothing to me, the deep inside me.   I do examine criticism, get my feelings hurt, so what...  life would do that without this, I am sure.  I change rapidly to confront new intelligence, not relying on some plan to work when I do not even quite know who the enemy is.... or even care?   I know what needs to be done, and the governments are not doing it.... the underground has prove it works for humanity by rising to this occasion, and forgetting our differences in thinking until we can get the oligarchy in control in the west.

I see a path with no violence, for a moment, before it too is covered in blood.

The Give and Give and Give
I wrote of was of people's selves
not to some fund
I would never have ordered people to give
if I thought I was speaking
from the altar as Christ
I would not have been after peoples money
and I never shall be

I innocently wrote pirate if you have to
thinking of songs, whatever
programs
computer pirating

I cannot stop telling you the same story again and again
I did not know who was behind the people watching me
or how they informed these tv shows about this shit

God, my ignorance
caused this world grief
tried to tell you to let me know
I would have done what I did
without death
I would have NEVER led
people to their death
suicide on my orders

the weight of my words
their deadly nature
cane from discovering a world
very different than the one I had planned
to confront since I was a child


Now every word I write can be deemed an offense
to use the word in both ways... always on the offense
offensive to the dead
or those who lined up for a race war
I WOULD NEVER have allowed
if asked

Lord, I have tried to understand
as much as possible the sickness of racism
I have fought the impulse after being ripped off
by plenty of black people
to judge a skin tone because of what a certain person did


My formative years of 18 were spent for about six months
in a black ran and mostly populated group
they were great men especially the political type
who started this successful enterprise
and another for women
we paid rent if we could
and I easily found work and was fine
in that area
I got back on my feet with their help
aa I already knew and lord did I need it then
moved to texas to a household of drunks
who wanted us to keep up
I hated who I was
and the night we swapped
I awoke the next morning and they were all gone to work
I was left behind that life
called aa

Being 18 and an idiot
\I did not even tell them where I had gone
for a few weeks at least
I could never give into
prejudice after being mentored by these men
betray their kindness and love
by stereotyping blacks
is nothing I would ever do