I have to expect to be hated, especially by Hollywoods and Mexicans
I did not know how to lead you, nor would I ever presume to be the person who should do so, Mexico... that is for the people there to decide. I cannot know their ways, merely respect them as much as possible, and celebrate them, without trying to incorporate them as my own.
I would never have embarrassed you like I did had I known that the people in my tv were not all there just to torture me. By the time I was left broke in a roach filled tiny apartment and felt ignored by the world, the guy with the diminished expectations in real life, fell back into the dream of the day to day when I should have been at the front, issuing orders. I did not know the popularity I was experiencing in some arenas would ever interconnect with my life.
Mostly, I was angry in the end at everyone who kept me in the dark... and how fucking right I was, because in the light I could see the atrocities around me, and do my best to stop them. The degradation of society itself, whatever portion ended up involved in this activity, was not something that was part of my plan, I did not instigate the worship... this surrounded me all of my life, to some degree, I understand now. I do not believe that a peaceful revolution will work in the USA, I also do not believe in unleashing anymore predators on the sheep.
Have I been laxed in my commitment by not spending every moment thinking about the underground? I don't know enough to do that without spending all of my time in my past, and I have learned what I can from that, and though I feel it everyday, the deaths, the regrets... I cannot allow myself to wallow in that. I must keep moving forward in this war. What side am I on now? Am I back in some hated group? Being far left is enough to be painted up as the Joker in this country... and yes, it annoys me, but I do not have to watch... it is insignificant to me how you view me, mine enemy true. IN FACT if you liked me all along, you probably hate me now. I become confused on who hates me who doesn't. I am still alone enough that when I make a suggestion, etc... and something happens, I am surprised, actually.
This too is a torture. You tell me people are watching me again, and I am just like... WHY???? Do you need this from me? Am I your redeemer, or do you represent soldiers who work with others and see me as a consultant? I know for some I am a leader. As long as our differences are celebrated, and we work together toward a way to balance social responsibility for all by a government, especially as rich as ours, as a benefit of paying taxes. Instead of endless war.
I do not know what to say to you, if you are expecting something from me. I am the person who writes truly that my goal is to love everyone, and I reach this more than any of you would understand, unless you are the type who, like me, usually has to be reminded there are assholes in the world. In my state of rest, so to speak, without any outside stimulus, I love all humyns, animals, plants... you name it. I operate on this principle in my personal life, though I condemn certain acts, ways of being.., I WAS certainly never the first to say many things I wrote.... unless you consider the Christ voice.
The mad anger at the world that I felt for so many years was misdirected. Had I known I was even being taken seriously. I was in a maze, slowly filling with blood, raising me to the top. I crawled out covered in blood.
When I think of the little I know of what happened, I understand now the questioning... I thought I was watching your production, didn't seem like I had that much effect on it, or I would not have been left alone... this was my thinking.
I remember shatner saying cold is bad once, and I made the comment that maybe we could retire to a town in Mexico, and the next day I read they have been covered in some weird ice storm, and unheard o event... in the summer. I figure it was brought to my attention by God or man, usually a combination of both, though by far not always. I know there was a break.
Ferrell I really have to stop hating for being the messenger. Saying I led troops to slaughter was the worst shit I had heard about me. An insult to my intelligence and morality. When I heard two sentences about your war, I could hardly be expected to lead it. Also, I am not a PIRATE. When this came down to making money you saw my reaction. I would love to be a millionaire, don't get me wrong. I could do a lot of good with that kind of money... at the same time, I think I know what I am supposed to do.... at least for now. Though I must say my self esteem at the moment is fairly dismal.
I would never have embarrassed you like I did had I known that the people in my tv were not all there just to torture me. By the time I was left broke in a roach filled tiny apartment and felt ignored by the world, the guy with the diminished expectations in real life, fell back into the dream of the day to day when I should have been at the front, issuing orders. I did not know the popularity I was experiencing in some arenas would ever interconnect with my life.
Mostly, I was angry in the end at everyone who kept me in the dark... and how fucking right I was, because in the light I could see the atrocities around me, and do my best to stop them. The degradation of society itself, whatever portion ended up involved in this activity, was not something that was part of my plan, I did not instigate the worship... this surrounded me all of my life, to some degree, I understand now. I do not believe that a peaceful revolution will work in the USA, I also do not believe in unleashing anymore predators on the sheep.
Have I been laxed in my commitment by not spending every moment thinking about the underground? I don't know enough to do that without spending all of my time in my past, and I have learned what I can from that, and though I feel it everyday, the deaths, the regrets... I cannot allow myself to wallow in that. I must keep moving forward in this war. What side am I on now? Am I back in some hated group? Being far left is enough to be painted up as the Joker in this country... and yes, it annoys me, but I do not have to watch... it is insignificant to me how you view me, mine enemy true. IN FACT if you liked me all along, you probably hate me now. I become confused on who hates me who doesn't. I am still alone enough that when I make a suggestion, etc... and something happens, I am surprised, actually.
This too is a torture. You tell me people are watching me again, and I am just like... WHY???? Do you need this from me? Am I your redeemer, or do you represent soldiers who work with others and see me as a consultant? I know for some I am a leader. As long as our differences are celebrated, and we work together toward a way to balance social responsibility for all by a government, especially as rich as ours, as a benefit of paying taxes. Instead of endless war.
I do not know what to say to you, if you are expecting something from me. I am the person who writes truly that my goal is to love everyone, and I reach this more than any of you would understand, unless you are the type who, like me, usually has to be reminded there are assholes in the world. In my state of rest, so to speak, without any outside stimulus, I love all humyns, animals, plants... you name it. I operate on this principle in my personal life, though I condemn certain acts, ways of being.., I WAS certainly never the first to say many things I wrote.... unless you consider the Christ voice.
The mad anger at the world that I felt for so many years was misdirected. Had I known I was even being taken seriously. I was in a maze, slowly filling with blood, raising me to the top. I crawled out covered in blood.
When I think of the little I know of what happened, I understand now the questioning... I thought I was watching your production, didn't seem like I had that much effect on it, or I would not have been left alone... this was my thinking.
I remember shatner saying cold is bad once, and I made the comment that maybe we could retire to a town in Mexico, and the next day I read they have been covered in some weird ice storm, and unheard o event... in the summer. I figure it was brought to my attention by God or man, usually a combination of both, though by far not always. I know there was a break.
Ferrell I really have to stop hating for being the messenger. Saying I led troops to slaughter was the worst shit I had heard about me. An insult to my intelligence and morality. When I heard two sentences about your war, I could hardly be expected to lead it. Also, I am not a PIRATE. When this came down to making money you saw my reaction. I would love to be a millionaire, don't get me wrong. I could do a lot of good with that kind of money... at the same time, I think I know what I am supposed to do.... at least for now. Though I must say my self esteem at the moment is fairly dismal.
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