secrets about the brainwashings effect on my new novel/confessions
I once wrote I would even work with the Nazi's to complete my mission. This did not go over too well with people, especially those oppressed by the Nazi's I had inadvertently helped in the past. I did not know what they were doing, and still have only the vaguest of notions, though it is enough to sicken me. I would never want anyone harmed because of who they are, only what they have done matters.
Period.
Jews, Christians, etc... they all have their problems. But it is not everyone who happened to be born into a certain religions fault. No more than skin tone or geography or any of the ways we keep each other apart means anything. I have always despised the way Israel acts toward the Palestinians.
A FEW years ago, feeling like I had to motivate myself, that I was going off mission, living in the ghetto, snorting heroin, trying to heal from all the shit I had been thru, ignoring the world... afraid to write aggressively after all the troubles that had caused. Writing the same things over and over on facebook, that which I felt had to stay secret always will, I suppose... guys like me do not get courtrooms, I learned in intelligence. Just does not happen.
Top Secret is top secret, and no one has any recourse in this world, except violence or treaties. Right now there seems to be some vague peace. I have intentionally tried not to stir up any trouble because I still do not feel that I have been able to convince some that they need to come together. The levels of atrocities in the SHADOW WAR have been high. I ordered some mass killings myself, of those who had been doing mass killings, for the sake of Justice, and peace. The injured party was not going to lay down their guns without some payback.... one group was trying to wipe out another group, and they had the help of the CIA, and they thought me for awhile, until I found out they thought I wanted a fucking race war.... to those who know, I am consider on the communists side, and the black side. This means nothing to me, other than that I said that I fight with WHOEVER they were going to try to wipe out. PERIOD. I would not hate white or black for some fucking human war.
I consider my spirit in these matters, and my body very, very secondary. I could not have done what I have without a suicidal streak a mile wide, which I have since damned up with the strongest of steel. After the CIA and others suggested I off myself, I told them fuck you then and I say fuck you to them again. I would never kill myself, until I was in horrible pain from cancer and going to die anyways, and then I would probably want to live anyways... with modern drugs. BUT I AM WILLING TO DIE if the cause is right. Being stupid is not enough. Creating a revolution in this country was to me when I thought a bullet and a boom would show the time had come to revolt.
Then I ended up almost helping put into power people who were not going to do what I said, never had except on the most banal of manners, as far as I could tell, with the occasional deadly flair up.
The basics is that Jesus has been hunted all over the world, instead of Chicago, where he is from, hiding right under the enemy noses with the grace of God and fanatical followers, fellow revolutionaries, and some forced to fight by criminal elements, in the Catholic Church, who were the first to discover a boy was growing wings in Indiana, from a line of Scottish Kings most of the Vatican scholars agreed was started by one of the children of Jesus Christ. When his disciples scattered across the world, some went to Scotland.
He slops out of Chicago by going into a FEMA camp, where citizens are being herded, after a hired army, supposedly ISIS, takes over the continent of the USA for the oligarchy, who are only keeping alive people needed to keep an infrastructure for the few million that would be left alive after their genocide. The police and the military have been hunted down, and some have rebelled. The fighting has been going on for over six months, and the side of Jesus was well known by the underground, and now people who before would have never been told of his presence -- a lesson learned from the pandemonium that broke out all over the world when he surfaced, I can attest to from person experience, having had what I think is a singular experience in recent history, the offer to be a God for most of the world. A plan that I would never have approved of without certain conditions, which were never met.
After my experiences in 2007 I will never again be able to truly deny myself that I am Christ, and take on certain responsibilities as a result of that knowledge. Once I was told by John Cusak that you have to admit you are not God, at least to the cameras. I will never admit something that I do not think is true, like that. It would be irreverent to lie about this like that, though I do not feel like talking to people about it, and poo poo it off when Mary Ann gets pissed and uses this to berate me... she does have a very cruel side, probably from being bullied, but I see beneath it, to where she truly is, almost too kind hearted for this world.
I DID NOT know what was being done in my name, or with my words, or I would have used them quite differently. I would have acted, talked, and lived differently. I thought that the deaths along the way had led to something great... only to find that I had released insanity on the world. I had no idea how seriously people were taking me. To the point that I heard once said THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO and did not really respond because I did not have the notion of myself as an emperor by any means, let alone did I want to move to Colorado, being poor as hell. The idea that I was making money... that is such a sad, sad affair. Money gathered for a revolution, or to feed the poor, or house the homeless... these things I would have understood -- wealth for the sake of frivolous high living is beyond me. I might have some wild fantasy once or twice, but they are gone now, and have been for awhile... when the radio show was offered I thought I would be a huge star and wrote I would buy five houses.... it was so stupid. I would never do such things with money. I was in the midst of the mania that started all of this.
Period.
Jews, Christians, etc... they all have their problems. But it is not everyone who happened to be born into a certain religions fault. No more than skin tone or geography or any of the ways we keep each other apart means anything. I have always despised the way Israel acts toward the Palestinians.
A FEW years ago, feeling like I had to motivate myself, that I was going off mission, living in the ghetto, snorting heroin, trying to heal from all the shit I had been thru, ignoring the world... afraid to write aggressively after all the troubles that had caused. Writing the same things over and over on facebook, that which I felt had to stay secret always will, I suppose... guys like me do not get courtrooms, I learned in intelligence. Just does not happen.
Top Secret is top secret, and no one has any recourse in this world, except violence or treaties. Right now there seems to be some vague peace. I have intentionally tried not to stir up any trouble because I still do not feel that I have been able to convince some that they need to come together. The levels of atrocities in the SHADOW WAR have been high. I ordered some mass killings myself, of those who had been doing mass killings, for the sake of Justice, and peace. The injured party was not going to lay down their guns without some payback.... one group was trying to wipe out another group, and they had the help of the CIA, and they thought me for awhile, until I found out they thought I wanted a fucking race war.... to those who know, I am consider on the communists side, and the black side. This means nothing to me, other than that I said that I fight with WHOEVER they were going to try to wipe out. PERIOD. I would not hate white or black for some fucking human war.
I consider my spirit in these matters, and my body very, very secondary. I could not have done what I have without a suicidal streak a mile wide, which I have since damned up with the strongest of steel. After the CIA and others suggested I off myself, I told them fuck you then and I say fuck you to them again. I would never kill myself, until I was in horrible pain from cancer and going to die anyways, and then I would probably want to live anyways... with modern drugs. BUT I AM WILLING TO DIE if the cause is right. Being stupid is not enough. Creating a revolution in this country was to me when I thought a bullet and a boom would show the time had come to revolt.
Then I ended up almost helping put into power people who were not going to do what I said, never had except on the most banal of manners, as far as I could tell, with the occasional deadly flair up.
The basics is that Jesus has been hunted all over the world, instead of Chicago, where he is from, hiding right under the enemy noses with the grace of God and fanatical followers, fellow revolutionaries, and some forced to fight by criminal elements, in the Catholic Church, who were the first to discover a boy was growing wings in Indiana, from a line of Scottish Kings most of the Vatican scholars agreed was started by one of the children of Jesus Christ. When his disciples scattered across the world, some went to Scotland.
He slops out of Chicago by going into a FEMA camp, where citizens are being herded, after a hired army, supposedly ISIS, takes over the continent of the USA for the oligarchy, who are only keeping alive people needed to keep an infrastructure for the few million that would be left alive after their genocide. The police and the military have been hunted down, and some have rebelled. The fighting has been going on for over six months, and the side of Jesus was well known by the underground, and now people who before would have never been told of his presence -- a lesson learned from the pandemonium that broke out all over the world when he surfaced, I can attest to from person experience, having had what I think is a singular experience in recent history, the offer to be a God for most of the world. A plan that I would never have approved of without certain conditions, which were never met.
After my experiences in 2007 I will never again be able to truly deny myself that I am Christ, and take on certain responsibilities as a result of that knowledge. Once I was told by John Cusak that you have to admit you are not God, at least to the cameras. I will never admit something that I do not think is true, like that. It would be irreverent to lie about this like that, though I do not feel like talking to people about it, and poo poo it off when Mary Ann gets pissed and uses this to berate me... she does have a very cruel side, probably from being bullied, but I see beneath it, to where she truly is, almost too kind hearted for this world.
I DID NOT know what was being done in my name, or with my words, or I would have used them quite differently. I would have acted, talked, and lived differently. I thought that the deaths along the way had led to something great... only to find that I had released insanity on the world. I had no idea how seriously people were taking me. To the point that I heard once said THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO and did not really respond because I did not have the notion of myself as an emperor by any means, let alone did I want to move to Colorado, being poor as hell. The idea that I was making money... that is such a sad, sad affair. Money gathered for a revolution, or to feed the poor, or house the homeless... these things I would have understood -- wealth for the sake of frivolous high living is beyond me. I might have some wild fantasy once or twice, but they are gone now, and have been for awhile... when the radio show was offered I thought I would be a huge star and wrote I would buy five houses.... it was so stupid. I would never do such things with money. I was in the midst of the mania that started all of this.
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