Being Hated. If I deserved it, fine... not when they are just fall guying me still
I never expected I was hated except by right wing nuts. I am very liberal on a lot of things that I will never change on. I am always surprised to be tossed in with the right wing.... that makes little sense to me.
I found out I was hated all over the world finally, that a lot of people had taken my words as a call to kill and kill and kill until there was no reason to kill anymore. Advice I meant for future revolutionaries was taken by a fighting underground. By roving crowds of Christians and new converts and the spies leading it all from deep cover lives, behind the scenes. Hated. Blamed for all these deaths. I expected the spies using tv to hate me. I was always bitching them out. But from what I had written, I saw no reason to hate me.
From the fucked up shit you took as orders from my life, you had every reason to hate me if you feel about the same as I do. I guess you don't. I want to save the world, but I do not trust this government to put the best foot forward, and I have heard no argument why they should be allowed to continue. I am singing an old song here. I am singing a song that has more meaning, but not enough.
I dream you will come in the night and off we will go, but as SHELDON TOLD ME THE NIGHT THEIR SHOW WAS DEDICATED TO ME, AND WE INTERACTED LIVE... I think. He told me, NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU. Those words convinced me I was the enemy of all, again, not just a small contingent, who thought I had abandoned them when in actuality I did not know who they even represented. When they intentionally seemed to block channel two from reaching me, the white channel here, and then one day said something about killing all the blue eyed people on a news program and I flipped out as the weather girl screamed she had blue eyes, I did not think they were being serious.... when I realize she was I flipped out. I was off line then, dealing with everything directly thru the tv, since the people in charge of keeping the webcam open were getting God knows how many hits. I was later asked why I promoted certain thins which I did not mean to. Interesting, telling me someone made advertising revenue or something, I have no idea.
What they did to you is unspeakably evil. We must not go beyond good and evil when the situation is another's life. They gave your free will to someone who did not want it.... I would never tell you to act in certain ways, or watch me all the time, or take my words as anything more on some topics than a man still impossibly ill informed on certain matters. And I am. But any one who fought for me who turned out to be the enemy of another group I worked with ... I am not sure how to deal with that one. The dogs fought for me. I did not know what they had done, other than have philosophical differences with me which were not negotiable. I think they would have been killed off by Nazi's had I allowed this to happen. The cops told me, and I SAID, let them go home... and now I fear the people who once I felt safe to be loyal towards, are simply continuing nefarious shit without my having influenced them at all.
I long for this war to be over and to sit about with vet's from all sides and hear their versions.... ha... like we are going to live thru this. Well, I am pessimistic at least, though I do not know much. I am hated for destroying towns... for acts I cannot repeat. A seeming psycho who liked death just for the hell of it, or the smallest infraction of his rules. I am not. I read an interview with a man, since murdered, who talked about the elite and he is one of the very few who I knew was credible... because he said something I knew though had read no where else. He talked about how they were so far above the law they could indulge in any sex they wanted, murder, etc. A license to kill. Had one. Found out there are way too many out there, because in the hidden war, they are killed, not murdered, and thus not investigated, so the blue can get along with the other groups, who do them favors as well.
So it goes...
Somehow or another I was given the name heart at the very first and people had heart attacks, and I did not know this was a code for me going after them, when I never would have. Never. One of my favorite comedians went thru this, one of many who retired when these events were over, the fun having been taken out of art, to a degree. I imagine a lot suffered like John Stewart who they made, like Colbert, do three shows a day because I was watching that much and noticed the slight differences. Later he told me he was locked in a concrete room between shows.... and it was made out to be a joke, but I think by then I realized how cruel these folks were. I hope I stopped watching it so much. God, I liked him so much, and pray we are not enemies. To think the Jews think I am their enemy is heart breaking, especially when their Psalms gave me strength when I needed it most, when I had to be a warrior, and feel this aspect of God, as had the ancients before me readying for war... not to mention I all my life considered the position one of those stupid stereotypes and still do.
I keep remembering the supernatural episode where they had Hitler come to life, and they made him this crazy homosexual who loved dogs, and then when they killed him he was trying to say I CAN EXPLAIN. I took this to be a reference to me. I also saw them leave the guy who brought down the Nazi's, me, being left in Buffalo where no one goes.. I am in a Buffalo JAIL in intelligence parlance, and a black controlled city in intelligence. I took this to mean that. I really took offense. They brought in all new writers this season. The ones who helped me so much are gone. I owe you debts that only saving your souls could repay. Kruptke to all the others... revolution as well. You taught me about dogs. No dogs, no dogs... and Hitler wanted his. I am sorry you too were tricked, and now we have parted ways.
I HOPE also that the Nazi's who this spoke to understand that I do not want to work with you if you are going to act on your ideas... I cannot change what you think with a magic wand, though time and allies of all colors might do so. I must always be able to redeem people. I must also be realistic. Did I redeem the dogs? No, I pissed them off. Maybe they felt they were drawn into a trap, because my allegiance is to the left. When ever you see me defined as right wing it may because I am popular with people prone toward religion, or I distrust the government in a way the complacent left does not know how... I want what traditional Green party wants... I just have given up on thinking the elite are anything except psychos.
I saw Hugh Laurie when he liked me and when I wrote that I was left leaning liberal green and anyone who said anything different was a liar.... then the last time I saw his face, he told me in a growling, hateful voice. Your paintings suck. It was a strange thing to see. A full circle sweep I barely understood. Whatever happened in CALIFORNIA was the result of secrecy. I should have been allowed to go out there. But.... no one is going to help me, as Sheldon told me... he also said, I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE A SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE... which stunned me. This was not a show about my life, this was me being confused as hell as to what was going on when the tv is fucking focusing on me like this... who am I to get this fucking treatment? No, I did not want a show about me that suddenly started with me being told NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. I guess he is on the white channel, and his buddy the star when on the view, saying I had terrified them all and did not deserve a second chance. I did not know what was going on or I would have stayed nice, like in the beginning, before humans attacked me and convinced me I was at war with forces much larger than me except in the sense of my religious beliefs.
The first question shrinks ask people is if they think tv is talking to them, and the intelligence community and all these other groups do use tv to get across messages to hidden people living cover lives who cannot be traced through tv easily. Anyways, I wonder if they then send some sort of alert out that someone is cracking, who they entrusted the codes with, and you have to know them, to get much of this. I heard this called a DOG WHISTLE, which is a sign which means nothing to anyone except those who know how to interpret it. The would use a lot of non sequiturs and shit to get stuff across, but I guess viewers just do not notice. Or in my worst paranoia's they all know... and I am deluding myself that I have any privacy at all.
I was considered a king. How true the higher your rise, the further you fall... try being considered a God, who then does an obscene act in front of children and everyone in the world, people who had been living by my short stories, underground.
I am grateful this period of lies ended, though the cost... it had to be paid, more blood on the altar of secrecy, hiding the criminals from even the judgement of minds who could nothing about it anyways... I heard one radio station say, after the masturbation, THE ERECTION THAT SAVED THE WORLD... which I wrote about when I realized all I would not have learned if I HAD NOT been roundly rejected by all these people, and left defenseless enough people could finally criticize me, which is the only way I got to the truth.
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I think of all the blood involved in what I am writing about, flows off this computers in waves that choke me, threaten to drown me just before they finally crest, and fall back away from me, back into the sentences and paragraphs that make the chaos seem like it makes sense. My addiction, creating sense of what may be non sensical. I sent forth a set of orders that became interpreted to me, though I may have half invented this in my mind, that a poem I wrote about ten to one was the equation paid for holy lives, then ROBERT DOWNEY JR.... a Disney, who brought Mel Gibson to his table, pretended to kill his best stock, he said, of hamsters... when originally, the idea that some of this came from was my character in comedy trying to raise a hamster army, which Disney used in a movie quick, because my family worked with them before, back in Nazi walt stage, where he tried his great brain washing experiments for whoever... ANYWAYS, the animators are great, and probably did not know the agenda, though they sure worked for an asshole you do not read about in the official biography.... anyways,...
Once they told me, WALT SAYS THIS IS YOUR MESS, YOU CLEAN IT UP... and I wondered what the fuck they meant by that and got all pissed and went off on walt, which was Disney, who filmed me in my bathroom, and along with Jason Lee used this against me at one point, probably both for different reasons. I am not sure who the scientologists really work for, or Disney anymore, seems it is all run by Jews, but that could be a front, but then oprha was not part of them and she is this big Nazi....
It is confusing. I have to act on assumptions.
I got afraid after that surgery. I thought how they could kill me in this hospital, these masons... thought I had no friends. I know about something that has to be stopped. If you want to think I am hitler over a sentence, then you are the worst propagandists of the century.
If you think I will do anything except try to stop Israel from continuing its policy of driving out the indigenous population, then you are sorely mistaken as well. I do not like present bankers, I do not care what religion they are. I do not think it matters at all. I also found the Jews have less power than people think.... I tried hard to save them. Lost allies, probably, and maybe they would not evenlisten, I do not know... but I did not save the Jews to fight them. God, what kind of fucking idiot do you think I am.... I feel twice as intelligence as my opposition and would like to set this topic to rest.
My Jewish advisor is back. She already has helped me to find a better means of communicating my displeasure, and my commitment, to what at the point in my life I wrote about Nazi's... I felt it was all over, and I would have to do anything to stop them. The Nazi's were probably behind what I would have been fighting, and finding that out would be my day...
No one tells me what to do.... I would love that. I would love a prophet who could say the words that gave my every step in life meaning. They exist. Plenty of them. I can't give in to that, have to constantly be the warrior in this time.
IF THEY STEAL MY NAME, THEY STEAL ALL THAT I AM, AND ALL I WILL BE.
They know this. I know this. I am a more credible source than them, obviously, at this point in my life, though they may have done things to me with hypnosis that I DO NOT know about.
I guess with the people running the left in Hollywood yes, as a scam to keep people in the CIA's grasp.
I am still very left, though I am not arrogant enough to think that I WOULD not want to take into account other people's views, and allow them freedom ... while socializing certain things, which piss off the elite, and make them run from me. Like BP.... who I was told hate me... and I am glad, though their enemies think I like them because they kept me too ignorant to make a rational decision.
Superstition should almost always be secondary to science. The superstition has very little to do with our life or so much we cannot understand, either way... ignoring revelations that come in a lab instead of popping into some prophets head, seems backward to myself and most people. I guess I should call myself something other than a Christian. I should call myself a Believer. Leave it at that. Instead of declaring myself a Christian. I am not following their faith, merely was born into the religion and use their icons in my mind for the great questions of life, about how to treat others, how life generally works out, etc... not literal. Just one of many holy books I take from, really. I believe in there the God of many masks has left his mark, from the ancient religions they flow up into the myths of Christianity... though I also think they are perverted all the time.
Waves of superstition were created to flow from me around the world, the king of kings returned and ready to reign. The end times arrived, or a creature doing something else.... what? He showed you, as I did -- addressing my enemies, who are the only ones who probably can access some of my words... I do not know for sure? Facebook seems to have kept me open world wide? HERE, who knows....
Anyways, I remembered the lepers coming around me, and knew in this time, with this many people knowing, this would be worse than ever, with the powerful and mighty wanting to meet me, take me into their fold... tried to make me work for the benefit of the wealthy, and when this did not work crucified me, in a way, by taking my myth and ending it.... in a good place. I did not want control of the world as was offered, or to let anyone take over if they were criminals... and God stepped in when I stumbled, made this the right move in the end, perhaps... or not. I am not happy this happened and thought I made a huge mistake at the time. But, no those were inspired words.... you give me the power, I will stop those who seem to have been oppressing all of you. I do not want trouble with them again, understand that now that this is over, I will continue to fight for my issues, and hopefully help inspire those who feel the same way. Cops and Robbers I am not going to play, understand the futility, and would at this point be a distraction from.... whatever it is I am doing at this point.
The Believers were bewildered by my orders... as well they should have been. I saw events reported that at first I could see having nothing to do with me.
I am only now free I think of myself as myself... I am the me with religion, who existed much of my life, just not directly before the brainwashing they gave me. To awaken the child who grew wings... they have an angel and are showing it to people to protect themselves... I do not know. I am not a fallen angel, and told you from the beginning, do not confuse me with angels... You understand why I said as much, some are saints and some are sinners. I would have done best never to have used the word without meeting someone I consider an angel... though I felt like I was meeting souls at first, when I was wrapping my mind around being the Christ it seemed like wherever my mind went were revelations. There was not. At times there was just me trying to deny the horror of death, the killing I found out happened and the motives behind when I said they were the best of you, and this was early on... when the Christ proved to be less a tourist attraction like the pope, and more of a God sent Trouble Maker to the slave holders, to the people in peril... to the people who needed words of encouragement, new religions to sweep away the sins okay'd by corrupt men writing so called holy books....
I saw all tHING like this for awhile, and probably could again if I was so given to... though I find that the entire matter of having visions seems to me something that was more meant to give solace to the people, than anything else... I would not know what happened, just that someone was harmed.. what could I do when I am hearing people speak a language I do not understand, mentioning groups that could be friend or foe, I have no idea, in the dark world they have shown me... there was all kinds of shit going down in this world that could use stopping... I have had fantasies for twenty years of being an alien who arrives above earth on a ship, after having watched the planet for eons, and know the sins of all humans all over the world... the ship zaps all the hidden rapists murderers... and they leave video proof of each persons crime. They die in their sleep.
I do not feel that way anymore. I would probably die in my sleep in that fantasy now. Accidental deaths because one man needed to be kept ignorant, to be the fall guy, in case this did not work out as a world wide program. The truth, I told you folks from the start, was the way to deal with me and look what happened...
Some of this is heart breaking to me, making Hispanic people or gays think I was against them never would have been my intention, and the accident that they showed me in my house coat, that ugly green thing I was wearing because I just no longer gave a fuck really... from the perspective of where I knew they watched me... and it hit me, and felt sordid. LIKE, my God, this was not some fight against tyranny and invasion of privacy and... and I was being seen as a gay stripper. CATERING to one audience... whom I have nothing against, never have... I learned of the line I crossed that you felt betrayed you. Well, I needed more intelligence, to even fucking know what I was working with you on? Had I known, the boarders might have opened...
The race war must end and the scars begin to heal, a hatred parents do not pass onto their children, just people they fought once, got over their differences, and are now trusted allies with in the battle against the oligarchy, which has to come sooner or later, and will either be a civilian slaughter and a loss or the militaries will do their duties.... and this time, not just allowing other crooks to take over for the old ones.
I was glad when you showed me on Channel 2 as white, and not an ape, which I had never kbown what that was... my thought was that of fucking course I am white. I WANT JUSTICE for all people, and of course that includes white people. I told you, I will fight on whoever's side is losing until you find peace. No genocide is going unchallenged that I learn of. I want no more people ever hurt in such folly in the US. If you cannot get beyond racism, get beyond racist actions. I do not care what people think, though I do not know if you have seen enough sides of the stone to really support your racist beliefs, without peer bpressure and the sub culture to back you up. I COULD be wrong. Maybe you hate deeper than I realize that people can... or as I have in the past. No more.
I will be sickened to my stomach just a twinge whenever I see faces of stars and others I know from missions or feel betrayed by.... they did their best about certain things, and had I known, we could have perhaps agreed on some things, while abandoning other things... AS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL... I am no longer trying to impress anyone. I know I am ignorant enough to read like an idiot still in the matrix to many of you. I do not judge what you did under the influence of such strong forces of mental bullying and inducement... to please a God. No, being you pleases me quite enough, though your behaviors are another matter, a God might say. I would to anyone, no matter who they are.
I have a persona in the written word. I am a God in the world of the WORD. God is WORD. tHIS IS TRUE. Is this the only place
I wanted to provide a city that did not see war, and I meant that for everyone... not just Chicago. I kind of extrapolated that out. I should have been given full access to any and all reactions to my presences. Still you do not understand this mistake. As I still have to blunder myself into what you believe, and learn from the rattler what it does when I step on it... some do nothing. Others bite and bring friends.
I am writing in the spy blog, though the brainwashing into having the deity voice in my head compels me to just allow it to spontaneously speak in this venue. I am being truthful about the facts, but my religion is my own.... explained many other places, but the effects on the spies actions... this is why it ends up here.
I do not write in this voice much anymore. I became too concerned about some of the harm done in my name. I do not want this repeated. My heart broke again over Tommy Smothers dying when his brother got a two page spread in the local newspaper, and I opened it up to his brother touring for the first time alone... he told me years ago Tommy was dead. I criticized him when I felt people on tv were bullying this forgotten blogger living in a roach filled apartment having a shit life in a way considered to what I thought fame brought. I told what I thought was the truth, that no one was actually fighting, and this is not what I meant.... though I have never, before in a way believe this more now... I would never have harmed him. I have few names and faces for my grief. Most died without my knowing they were fighting. I told them to go home because I did not know you existed, reacted too quickly, should have sent you.... I wrote for a revolution I did not know was happening, and when confronted with you...
My heart goes out to any soldier on any side, know killing hurts the killer. I am not told numbers, but the bit they go the trouble of showing me is significant, not one instance, as I thought, but a metaphor for what was happening around the country. Why would you hide this from me? Why would you not allow your wise men to approach me? Even now. I see a show on blood drive, and Heart industries runs it, which is what they called me at first, though I did not realize it... until way later. David Letterman has a heart attack -- I would have never asked for such a thing, had no reason to, did not understand. Lord, now the cars are the primary way that groups are shown, mine has a character in a commercial, who takes in my allies... used to have the rep. animal for the Hispanics, which was taken from my story, and I was too much of an idiot to see. I WAS honored, though I did not know the depth of what we were doing.
I still see the win win win win win end is possible, that I knew I had to be here to bring, until you attacked me over a poem taken too seriously, my words too powerful. I am then abused by the government for something I never meant to happen at all... as later became apparent. I did not want to kill politicians. I had no reason to want to kill anyone except those who stood in the way of some future revolution I wrote about... not knowing my words sparked real world action.
I write this so those of you who were there can at least know what really happened, not what you were told, about me. I AM misunderstood, as most of you are. We can only do this redistributing the wealth of the uber wealthy, and that is how this needs to be presented. Mathmatically we can do this much with that money, save these lives, shift these people into eco friendly living spaces we build all over the earth, take control of the population problem firmly, though first and foremost humane. They need to know that this way all these people can buy land from our recently socialized banks, who work with everyone... and are there to keep you in the house, not get the property for next to nothing because you cannot make your payments.
I found out I was hated all over the world finally, that a lot of people had taken my words as a call to kill and kill and kill until there was no reason to kill anymore. Advice I meant for future revolutionaries was taken by a fighting underground. By roving crowds of Christians and new converts and the spies leading it all from deep cover lives, behind the scenes. Hated. Blamed for all these deaths. I expected the spies using tv to hate me. I was always bitching them out. But from what I had written, I saw no reason to hate me.
From the fucked up shit you took as orders from my life, you had every reason to hate me if you feel about the same as I do. I guess you don't. I want to save the world, but I do not trust this government to put the best foot forward, and I have heard no argument why they should be allowed to continue. I am singing an old song here. I am singing a song that has more meaning, but not enough.
I dream you will come in the night and off we will go, but as SHELDON TOLD ME THE NIGHT THEIR SHOW WAS DEDICATED TO ME, AND WE INTERACTED LIVE... I think. He told me, NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU. Those words convinced me I was the enemy of all, again, not just a small contingent, who thought I had abandoned them when in actuality I did not know who they even represented. When they intentionally seemed to block channel two from reaching me, the white channel here, and then one day said something about killing all the blue eyed people on a news program and I flipped out as the weather girl screamed she had blue eyes, I did not think they were being serious.... when I realize she was I flipped out. I was off line then, dealing with everything directly thru the tv, since the people in charge of keeping the webcam open were getting God knows how many hits. I was later asked why I promoted certain thins which I did not mean to. Interesting, telling me someone made advertising revenue or something, I have no idea.
What they did to you is unspeakably evil. We must not go beyond good and evil when the situation is another's life. They gave your free will to someone who did not want it.... I would never tell you to act in certain ways, or watch me all the time, or take my words as anything more on some topics than a man still impossibly ill informed on certain matters. And I am. But any one who fought for me who turned out to be the enemy of another group I worked with ... I am not sure how to deal with that one. The dogs fought for me. I did not know what they had done, other than have philosophical differences with me which were not negotiable. I think they would have been killed off by Nazi's had I allowed this to happen. The cops told me, and I SAID, let them go home... and now I fear the people who once I felt safe to be loyal towards, are simply continuing nefarious shit without my having influenced them at all.
I long for this war to be over and to sit about with vet's from all sides and hear their versions.... ha... like we are going to live thru this. Well, I am pessimistic at least, though I do not know much. I am hated for destroying towns... for acts I cannot repeat. A seeming psycho who liked death just for the hell of it, or the smallest infraction of his rules. I am not. I read an interview with a man, since murdered, who talked about the elite and he is one of the very few who I knew was credible... because he said something I knew though had read no where else. He talked about how they were so far above the law they could indulge in any sex they wanted, murder, etc. A license to kill. Had one. Found out there are way too many out there, because in the hidden war, they are killed, not murdered, and thus not investigated, so the blue can get along with the other groups, who do them favors as well.
So it goes...
Somehow or another I was given the name heart at the very first and people had heart attacks, and I did not know this was a code for me going after them, when I never would have. Never. One of my favorite comedians went thru this, one of many who retired when these events were over, the fun having been taken out of art, to a degree. I imagine a lot suffered like John Stewart who they made, like Colbert, do three shows a day because I was watching that much and noticed the slight differences. Later he told me he was locked in a concrete room between shows.... and it was made out to be a joke, but I think by then I realized how cruel these folks were. I hope I stopped watching it so much. God, I liked him so much, and pray we are not enemies. To think the Jews think I am their enemy is heart breaking, especially when their Psalms gave me strength when I needed it most, when I had to be a warrior, and feel this aspect of God, as had the ancients before me readying for war... not to mention I all my life considered the position one of those stupid stereotypes and still do.
I keep remembering the supernatural episode where they had Hitler come to life, and they made him this crazy homosexual who loved dogs, and then when they killed him he was trying to say I CAN EXPLAIN. I took this to be a reference to me. I also saw them leave the guy who brought down the Nazi's, me, being left in Buffalo where no one goes.. I am in a Buffalo JAIL in intelligence parlance, and a black controlled city in intelligence. I took this to mean that. I really took offense. They brought in all new writers this season. The ones who helped me so much are gone. I owe you debts that only saving your souls could repay. Kruptke to all the others... revolution as well. You taught me about dogs. No dogs, no dogs... and Hitler wanted his. I am sorry you too were tricked, and now we have parted ways.
I HOPE also that the Nazi's who this spoke to understand that I do not want to work with you if you are going to act on your ideas... I cannot change what you think with a magic wand, though time and allies of all colors might do so. I must always be able to redeem people. I must also be realistic. Did I redeem the dogs? No, I pissed them off. Maybe they felt they were drawn into a trap, because my allegiance is to the left. When ever you see me defined as right wing it may because I am popular with people prone toward religion, or I distrust the government in a way the complacent left does not know how... I want what traditional Green party wants... I just have given up on thinking the elite are anything except psychos.
I saw Hugh Laurie when he liked me and when I wrote that I was left leaning liberal green and anyone who said anything different was a liar.... then the last time I saw his face, he told me in a growling, hateful voice. Your paintings suck. It was a strange thing to see. A full circle sweep I barely understood. Whatever happened in CALIFORNIA was the result of secrecy. I should have been allowed to go out there. But.... no one is going to help me, as Sheldon told me... he also said, I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE A SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE... which stunned me. This was not a show about my life, this was me being confused as hell as to what was going on when the tv is fucking focusing on me like this... who am I to get this fucking treatment? No, I did not want a show about me that suddenly started with me being told NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. I guess he is on the white channel, and his buddy the star when on the view, saying I had terrified them all and did not deserve a second chance. I did not know what was going on or I would have stayed nice, like in the beginning, before humans attacked me and convinced me I was at war with forces much larger than me except in the sense of my religious beliefs.
The first question shrinks ask people is if they think tv is talking to them, and the intelligence community and all these other groups do use tv to get across messages to hidden people living cover lives who cannot be traced through tv easily. Anyways, I wonder if they then send some sort of alert out that someone is cracking, who they entrusted the codes with, and you have to know them, to get much of this. I heard this called a DOG WHISTLE, which is a sign which means nothing to anyone except those who know how to interpret it. The would use a lot of non sequiturs and shit to get stuff across, but I guess viewers just do not notice. Or in my worst paranoia's they all know... and I am deluding myself that I have any privacy at all.
I was considered a king. How true the higher your rise, the further you fall... try being considered a God, who then does an obscene act in front of children and everyone in the world, people who had been living by my short stories, underground.
I am grateful this period of lies ended, though the cost... it had to be paid, more blood on the altar of secrecy, hiding the criminals from even the judgement of minds who could nothing about it anyways... I heard one radio station say, after the masturbation, THE ERECTION THAT SAVED THE WORLD... which I wrote about when I realized all I would not have learned if I HAD NOT been roundly rejected by all these people, and left defenseless enough people could finally criticize me, which is the only way I got to the truth.
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I think of all the blood involved in what I am writing about, flows off this computers in waves that choke me, threaten to drown me just before they finally crest, and fall back away from me, back into the sentences and paragraphs that make the chaos seem like it makes sense. My addiction, creating sense of what may be non sensical. I sent forth a set of orders that became interpreted to me, though I may have half invented this in my mind, that a poem I wrote about ten to one was the equation paid for holy lives, then ROBERT DOWNEY JR.... a Disney, who brought Mel Gibson to his table, pretended to kill his best stock, he said, of hamsters... when originally, the idea that some of this came from was my character in comedy trying to raise a hamster army, which Disney used in a movie quick, because my family worked with them before, back in Nazi walt stage, where he tried his great brain washing experiments for whoever... ANYWAYS, the animators are great, and probably did not know the agenda, though they sure worked for an asshole you do not read about in the official biography.... anyways,...
Once they told me, WALT SAYS THIS IS YOUR MESS, YOU CLEAN IT UP... and I wondered what the fuck they meant by that and got all pissed and went off on walt, which was Disney, who filmed me in my bathroom, and along with Jason Lee used this against me at one point, probably both for different reasons. I am not sure who the scientologists really work for, or Disney anymore, seems it is all run by Jews, but that could be a front, but then oprha was not part of them and she is this big Nazi....
It is confusing. I have to act on assumptions.
I got afraid after that surgery. I thought how they could kill me in this hospital, these masons... thought I had no friends. I know about something that has to be stopped. If you want to think I am hitler over a sentence, then you are the worst propagandists of the century.
If you think I will do anything except try to stop Israel from continuing its policy of driving out the indigenous population, then you are sorely mistaken as well. I do not like present bankers, I do not care what religion they are. I do not think it matters at all. I also found the Jews have less power than people think.... I tried hard to save them. Lost allies, probably, and maybe they would not evenlisten, I do not know... but I did not save the Jews to fight them. God, what kind of fucking idiot do you think I am.... I feel twice as intelligence as my opposition and would like to set this topic to rest.
My Jewish advisor is back. She already has helped me to find a better means of communicating my displeasure, and my commitment, to what at the point in my life I wrote about Nazi's... I felt it was all over, and I would have to do anything to stop them. The Nazi's were probably behind what I would have been fighting, and finding that out would be my day...
No one tells me what to do.... I would love that. I would love a prophet who could say the words that gave my every step in life meaning. They exist. Plenty of them. I can't give in to that, have to constantly be the warrior in this time.
IF THEY STEAL MY NAME, THEY STEAL ALL THAT I AM, AND ALL I WILL BE.
They know this. I know this. I am a more credible source than them, obviously, at this point in my life, though they may have done things to me with hypnosis that I DO NOT know about.
I guess with the people running the left in Hollywood yes, as a scam to keep people in the CIA's grasp.
I am still very left, though I am not arrogant enough to think that I WOULD not want to take into account other people's views, and allow them freedom ... while socializing certain things, which piss off the elite, and make them run from me. Like BP.... who I was told hate me... and I am glad, though their enemies think I like them because they kept me too ignorant to make a rational decision.
Superstition should almost always be secondary to science. The superstition has very little to do with our life or so much we cannot understand, either way... ignoring revelations that come in a lab instead of popping into some prophets head, seems backward to myself and most people. I guess I should call myself something other than a Christian. I should call myself a Believer. Leave it at that. Instead of declaring myself a Christian. I am not following their faith, merely was born into the religion and use their icons in my mind for the great questions of life, about how to treat others, how life generally works out, etc... not literal. Just one of many holy books I take from, really. I believe in there the God of many masks has left his mark, from the ancient religions they flow up into the myths of Christianity... though I also think they are perverted all the time.
Waves of superstition were created to flow from me around the world, the king of kings returned and ready to reign. The end times arrived, or a creature doing something else.... what? He showed you, as I did -- addressing my enemies, who are the only ones who probably can access some of my words... I do not know for sure? Facebook seems to have kept me open world wide? HERE, who knows....
Anyways, I remembered the lepers coming around me, and knew in this time, with this many people knowing, this would be worse than ever, with the powerful and mighty wanting to meet me, take me into their fold... tried to make me work for the benefit of the wealthy, and when this did not work crucified me, in a way, by taking my myth and ending it.... in a good place. I did not want control of the world as was offered, or to let anyone take over if they were criminals... and God stepped in when I stumbled, made this the right move in the end, perhaps... or not. I am not happy this happened and thought I made a huge mistake at the time. But, no those were inspired words.... you give me the power, I will stop those who seem to have been oppressing all of you. I do not want trouble with them again, understand that now that this is over, I will continue to fight for my issues, and hopefully help inspire those who feel the same way. Cops and Robbers I am not going to play, understand the futility, and would at this point be a distraction from.... whatever it is I am doing at this point.
The Believers were bewildered by my orders... as well they should have been. I saw events reported that at first I could see having nothing to do with me.
I am only now free I think of myself as myself... I am the me with religion, who existed much of my life, just not directly before the brainwashing they gave me. To awaken the child who grew wings... they have an angel and are showing it to people to protect themselves... I do not know. I am not a fallen angel, and told you from the beginning, do not confuse me with angels... You understand why I said as much, some are saints and some are sinners. I would have done best never to have used the word without meeting someone I consider an angel... though I felt like I was meeting souls at first, when I was wrapping my mind around being the Christ it seemed like wherever my mind went were revelations. There was not. At times there was just me trying to deny the horror of death, the killing I found out happened and the motives behind when I said they were the best of you, and this was early on... when the Christ proved to be less a tourist attraction like the pope, and more of a God sent Trouble Maker to the slave holders, to the people in peril... to the people who needed words of encouragement, new religions to sweep away the sins okay'd by corrupt men writing so called holy books....
I saw all tHING like this for awhile, and probably could again if I was so given to... though I find that the entire matter of having visions seems to me something that was more meant to give solace to the people, than anything else... I would not know what happened, just that someone was harmed.. what could I do when I am hearing people speak a language I do not understand, mentioning groups that could be friend or foe, I have no idea, in the dark world they have shown me... there was all kinds of shit going down in this world that could use stopping... I have had fantasies for twenty years of being an alien who arrives above earth on a ship, after having watched the planet for eons, and know the sins of all humans all over the world... the ship zaps all the hidden rapists murderers... and they leave video proof of each persons crime. They die in their sleep.
I do not feel that way anymore. I would probably die in my sleep in that fantasy now. Accidental deaths because one man needed to be kept ignorant, to be the fall guy, in case this did not work out as a world wide program. The truth, I told you folks from the start, was the way to deal with me and look what happened...
Some of this is heart breaking to me, making Hispanic people or gays think I was against them never would have been my intention, and the accident that they showed me in my house coat, that ugly green thing I was wearing because I just no longer gave a fuck really... from the perspective of where I knew they watched me... and it hit me, and felt sordid. LIKE, my God, this was not some fight against tyranny and invasion of privacy and... and I was being seen as a gay stripper. CATERING to one audience... whom I have nothing against, never have... I learned of the line I crossed that you felt betrayed you. Well, I needed more intelligence, to even fucking know what I was working with you on? Had I known, the boarders might have opened...
The race war must end and the scars begin to heal, a hatred parents do not pass onto their children, just people they fought once, got over their differences, and are now trusted allies with in the battle against the oligarchy, which has to come sooner or later, and will either be a civilian slaughter and a loss or the militaries will do their duties.... and this time, not just allowing other crooks to take over for the old ones.
I was glad when you showed me on Channel 2 as white, and not an ape, which I had never kbown what that was... my thought was that of fucking course I am white. I WANT JUSTICE for all people, and of course that includes white people. I told you, I will fight on whoever's side is losing until you find peace. No genocide is going unchallenged that I learn of. I want no more people ever hurt in such folly in the US. If you cannot get beyond racism, get beyond racist actions. I do not care what people think, though I do not know if you have seen enough sides of the stone to really support your racist beliefs, without peer bpressure and the sub culture to back you up. I COULD be wrong. Maybe you hate deeper than I realize that people can... or as I have in the past. No more.
I will be sickened to my stomach just a twinge whenever I see faces of stars and others I know from missions or feel betrayed by.... they did their best about certain things, and had I known, we could have perhaps agreed on some things, while abandoning other things... AS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL... I am no longer trying to impress anyone. I know I am ignorant enough to read like an idiot still in the matrix to many of you. I do not judge what you did under the influence of such strong forces of mental bullying and inducement... to please a God. No, being you pleases me quite enough, though your behaviors are another matter, a God might say. I would to anyone, no matter who they are.
I have a persona in the written word. I am a God in the world of the WORD. God is WORD. tHIS IS TRUE. Is this the only place
I wanted to provide a city that did not see war, and I meant that for everyone... not just Chicago. I kind of extrapolated that out. I should have been given full access to any and all reactions to my presences. Still you do not understand this mistake. As I still have to blunder myself into what you believe, and learn from the rattler what it does when I step on it... some do nothing. Others bite and bring friends.
I am writing in the spy blog, though the brainwashing into having the deity voice in my head compels me to just allow it to spontaneously speak in this venue. I am being truthful about the facts, but my religion is my own.... explained many other places, but the effects on the spies actions... this is why it ends up here.
I do not write in this voice much anymore. I became too concerned about some of the harm done in my name. I do not want this repeated. My heart broke again over Tommy Smothers dying when his brother got a two page spread in the local newspaper, and I opened it up to his brother touring for the first time alone... he told me years ago Tommy was dead. I criticized him when I felt people on tv were bullying this forgotten blogger living in a roach filled apartment having a shit life in a way considered to what I thought fame brought. I told what I thought was the truth, that no one was actually fighting, and this is not what I meant.... though I have never, before in a way believe this more now... I would never have harmed him. I have few names and faces for my grief. Most died without my knowing they were fighting. I told them to go home because I did not know you existed, reacted too quickly, should have sent you.... I wrote for a revolution I did not know was happening, and when confronted with you...
My heart goes out to any soldier on any side, know killing hurts the killer. I am not told numbers, but the bit they go the trouble of showing me is significant, not one instance, as I thought, but a metaphor for what was happening around the country. Why would you hide this from me? Why would you not allow your wise men to approach me? Even now. I see a show on blood drive, and Heart industries runs it, which is what they called me at first, though I did not realize it... until way later. David Letterman has a heart attack -- I would have never asked for such a thing, had no reason to, did not understand. Lord, now the cars are the primary way that groups are shown, mine has a character in a commercial, who takes in my allies... used to have the rep. animal for the Hispanics, which was taken from my story, and I was too much of an idiot to see. I WAS honored, though I did not know the depth of what we were doing.
I still see the win win win win win end is possible, that I knew I had to be here to bring, until you attacked me over a poem taken too seriously, my words too powerful. I am then abused by the government for something I never meant to happen at all... as later became apparent. I did not want to kill politicians. I had no reason to want to kill anyone except those who stood in the way of some future revolution I wrote about... not knowing my words sparked real world action.
I write this so those of you who were there can at least know what really happened, not what you were told, about me. I AM misunderstood, as most of you are. We can only do this redistributing the wealth of the uber wealthy, and that is how this needs to be presented. Mathmatically we can do this much with that money, save these lives, shift these people into eco friendly living spaces we build all over the earth, take control of the population problem firmly, though first and foremost humane. They need to know that this way all these people can buy land from our recently socialized banks, who work with everyone... and are there to keep you in the house, not get the property for next to nothing because you cannot make your payments.
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