kenneth branagh... or whateve that director's name... had a brush with him.
During this time I had no idea what the fuck was going on, and actually thought I would make money from the people who were advertising on tv during this so called famous webcast. I was such an idiot and must have looked as much, to the people watching me.... and they were from the cameras everywhere.... part of the plan. Get that religion going for operation bluebeam...
I was watching tv during this period, and knew the talk shows had an open feed into my room, when he commented on how I was watching the commercials closely. People laughed. I was so tortured by being kept in the dark, but that is what they were doing to the FALL GUY... or so they thought, China came in and saved me. I am just a writer. I inspire some. Most of them are dead or degraded though enough survive to present a threat. What my position is in this world I have no idea in a way.
My old allies abandoned me when I helped stop the race war, which felt to them like I was being a traitor. I never would have fought in that, wanted that, ordered that... all you had to do was read my writing... it was all there. Instead you believed that others could tell you my wishes. I was so surprised when the different sides gathered for war.... and I saw your faces for a bit, and you were surprised when I told you I am a feminist, you were surprised by all kinds of ways I was different than what you thought, than this ICON they had told you to worship as a revolutionary. a god. a demi god. an alien. a master spy. I was called so many things... in the end superman, because I saved the government, whether I should have or not... I became a real hero to a lot of people by my actions. But I helped the blacks, who many whites must hate after years of warfare, and atrocities on both sides.
When I first found out about it, they were still thinking I had somehow been caught, not that I had no idea it was happening. I knew they had this money, told them to give it to the families of the dead... and they cried -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BUY OFF YOUR MURDERS... which was the last thing in my mind, having had no part in these murders. I guess they gave them some money..... SNL and many tv shows were involved, but since they were live I knew they kept an open feed into the spy cam in my apartment... this actor on there said, MAYBE IF WE TAKE GOD HOSTAGE WE WILL GET OUR MONEY BACK. Technically I was a hostage of the blacks, because the racists liked me so much, and my family had those tendencies that they tried to draft me into, which I did not even fucking know for years. When I did find out, it was funny... I ended up being branded on the black side in intelligence, and communist -- though mostly socialist with progressive ideas on keeping free enterprise alive as well... they have never tried to impose anything on me, like other groups that tried to get me to join them, at first.
I kept my poker face, said nothing. I knew what he was talking about, a way of stealing money that people were told I sanctioned, that my speeches on one topic meant one thing, which they did not.... when I found out I was furious... wondered how the us would allow such a thing to happen, and made the hasty decision to find out how powerful I was, right on the apex of them making me very powerful, I destroyed the whole thing by saying attack one of my backers, the Mob, who I had no idea were behind so much mayhem for the CIA... God, the things they showed me that I did not understand at the time, things they told me.... I remember one day hearing on a radio station that often gave reports, and I was told to listen to all the times, said ALL THE MULLETS ARE GONE... and other codes.... they were KILLING THEM ALL, or that was the password being used by the people on the mission, who were explained as Knights Templer's, the same as the right wing killer in Norway called himself, and was... The Masons had something to do with all this, but I do not know what and hesitate to speculate on what I do not know... they could be the good guys for all I know. The verdict is still out.
I saw a lot but I was so confused. I look at those years, how angry and maddened in mood and thought, as I ranted at the bugs... scaring the hell out of my pets. I thought I was fighting some war to be authentic even if the world had intruded on me, for reasons that finally seem to come down with me having a plan... when I did not have enough intelligence to have a plan in the realm of intelligence. I had a plan for the world they convinced me I lived in mostly, with peaceful protests... though I was told that would not work and prepared for this contingency by far thinking people, who we all owe much to.
The feeling of hearing about all these people who I assumed were enemies was exhilarating in a way, I was in on this huge secret, and we were winning. I did not know who these people were who they were harming, but the years of seeing killings and hearing about them had given me blood lust of sorts... the feeling of winning, of the world changing... though the terror was also there. I did not know how to please these people who watched me and occasionally responded to me... I said the stupidest things... so much I would take back. If I could go back in time I would have sewn my lips shut, went into a barren room, and wrote my words alone, with no one watching...
I am still enraged by the thought they believed I wanted to be watched. I see their egos then, how they would love to be as popular as they tell me I was/am.... I come on facebook in the spy capacity to try to get my name back. I still believe in my mission, and have sworn never to quit, and to always remind the world of those who died, who the government murdered, and are trying to hide.... I DO NOT expect justice nor want revenge, I just want them remembered somewhere, and those who count read my words, those who knew these people who died, loved them... and I WANT them to know that no matter what they do to my name, I will not be stopped. They can call me whatever they want, they can convince the jews I am a Nazi, which is a pretty damned brutal twisting of reality, like when they convinced the world I am a racist all over again. Or a serial killer, because of comedy I wrote. People use ridiculous methods to try to put me down.
I can see why people have been confused because I worked with groups I did not agree with, the Dogs, which Trump is one, because they brainwashed me... and just used me. There was nothing I could do about this. When I found out I reacted. Did more than anyone else in the underground to protect the Jews, when they were seriously imperiled in the states... to turn on me because I am trying to make a statement about commitment to a cause that says I would work with people to whom I do not share all my beliefs, to save the world. Other things had happened in the past that made this insensitive, to say the least, of me to write. I thought about becoming a Jew and Tia Margarita or whatever that brainwashed web star was called, was then reported all over to be a jew, then a year later she put out an album saying she was a Nazi... such propaganda gets to those who know.
I have to confront their tactics to some degree, though wasting my time on semantics is exactly the kind of thing that has lead us to our present impasse. We need action, not talk. We must have a policy that Jews accept, at least the secular ones... probably the non Zionists, but even them if they will talk reason. I will not allow the hatred of a few media puppets to make me hate jews in general. I am not an idiot, met plenty of Jews who want only the best for the world, whatever.... WE MUST JUDGE INDIVIUALS... \
I BELIEVE in some collective ideas, though they cannot be allowed to impinge on peoples right to free speech.
The stars that addressed me directly thru the tv I OFTEN ignored because it was fucking rude, man... I hated that camera, and for people to suddenly try to interact with me was too much.... Robert Downey Jr. SEEMED to think I did not recognize him, even said, REMEMBER CHAPLIN... which was ridiculous. I just was not expecting people to do that. It only happened once in awhile and God I hated it.
I would be reminded that I was in a zoo by all of it and this was SELFISH AS HELL. I would not have been selfish had I been allowed to know what was really going on.... though I was thinking today of how I am known for hearing about a bunch of deaths and seemingly responding with indifference... which is what people saw, though I had no idea there were people dying... I had no idea why they were trying to use trains and car wrecks.... I thought I was supposed to be doing something, but I did not know what was expected of me.
I think of this period now with dread, and feel again the horror. I have had to back off on my novel for awhile because of the emotions that it brings up... It was good to take a break, look at what worked and didn't.... oh, well. I know what happens now, and can concentrate on poetic lines, symbolism, all the fun stuff.... I have the skeleton, now for the flesh.
Yesterday I wrote about a top secret matter that actually it kind made me afraid to release.... wrote about how after learning how the cia got rid of victims, I quit eating meat.... there is a long story behind this I will never tell. Never. The people who did these actions were flunkies for the people who meddle in everything, the us intelligence agencies. I do not want to rile them up in any way. I will never tell their story. That is a nightmare that there is no use passing on.... the CIA may release it all one day, though I have my doubts the world will last that long...
I thought today about how I am wasting a great education on facebook... I should be doing other things, be in these blogs, which have led to two books, and the collection. I do plan on moving the construction of the books to word. I will turn this blog into a linear collection of stories, some which I will expand upon, others steer way clear from even mentioning. I do not want to get people killed without reason. I cannot believe I am a man who has done so. I see why they looked at me like Charles manson, some... if God had only given me access to those who thought I was a holy man, but though I had it.... I did not know I did. I am not sure what I would have done, if I would have been terrible at leading this group, certainly while being held hostage and not allowed to meet with them, which caused a lot of fighting among these groups. The irony is that I would not have fought with the whites against the blacks.. I would just not want to be involved, and would ask for peace between races....
If people hate me for that, then hey, go ahead... a lot of lives were saved. I regret allowing revenge but... it supposedly ended some of this.
I was watching tv during this period, and knew the talk shows had an open feed into my room, when he commented on how I was watching the commercials closely. People laughed. I was so tortured by being kept in the dark, but that is what they were doing to the FALL GUY... or so they thought, China came in and saved me. I am just a writer. I inspire some. Most of them are dead or degraded though enough survive to present a threat. What my position is in this world I have no idea in a way.
My old allies abandoned me when I helped stop the race war, which felt to them like I was being a traitor. I never would have fought in that, wanted that, ordered that... all you had to do was read my writing... it was all there. Instead you believed that others could tell you my wishes. I was so surprised when the different sides gathered for war.... and I saw your faces for a bit, and you were surprised when I told you I am a feminist, you were surprised by all kinds of ways I was different than what you thought, than this ICON they had told you to worship as a revolutionary. a god. a demi god. an alien. a master spy. I was called so many things... in the end superman, because I saved the government, whether I should have or not... I became a real hero to a lot of people by my actions. But I helped the blacks, who many whites must hate after years of warfare, and atrocities on both sides.
When I first found out about it, they were still thinking I had somehow been caught, not that I had no idea it was happening. I knew they had this money, told them to give it to the families of the dead... and they cried -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BUY OFF YOUR MURDERS... which was the last thing in my mind, having had no part in these murders. I guess they gave them some money..... SNL and many tv shows were involved, but since they were live I knew they kept an open feed into the spy cam in my apartment... this actor on there said, MAYBE IF WE TAKE GOD HOSTAGE WE WILL GET OUR MONEY BACK. Technically I was a hostage of the blacks, because the racists liked me so much, and my family had those tendencies that they tried to draft me into, which I did not even fucking know for years. When I did find out, it was funny... I ended up being branded on the black side in intelligence, and communist -- though mostly socialist with progressive ideas on keeping free enterprise alive as well... they have never tried to impose anything on me, like other groups that tried to get me to join them, at first.
I kept my poker face, said nothing. I knew what he was talking about, a way of stealing money that people were told I sanctioned, that my speeches on one topic meant one thing, which they did not.... when I found out I was furious... wondered how the us would allow such a thing to happen, and made the hasty decision to find out how powerful I was, right on the apex of them making me very powerful, I destroyed the whole thing by saying attack one of my backers, the Mob, who I had no idea were behind so much mayhem for the CIA... God, the things they showed me that I did not understand at the time, things they told me.... I remember one day hearing on a radio station that often gave reports, and I was told to listen to all the times, said ALL THE MULLETS ARE GONE... and other codes.... they were KILLING THEM ALL, or that was the password being used by the people on the mission, who were explained as Knights Templer's, the same as the right wing killer in Norway called himself, and was... The Masons had something to do with all this, but I do not know what and hesitate to speculate on what I do not know... they could be the good guys for all I know. The verdict is still out.
I saw a lot but I was so confused. I look at those years, how angry and maddened in mood and thought, as I ranted at the bugs... scaring the hell out of my pets. I thought I was fighting some war to be authentic even if the world had intruded on me, for reasons that finally seem to come down with me having a plan... when I did not have enough intelligence to have a plan in the realm of intelligence. I had a plan for the world they convinced me I lived in mostly, with peaceful protests... though I was told that would not work and prepared for this contingency by far thinking people, who we all owe much to.
The feeling of hearing about all these people who I assumed were enemies was exhilarating in a way, I was in on this huge secret, and we were winning. I did not know who these people were who they were harming, but the years of seeing killings and hearing about them had given me blood lust of sorts... the feeling of winning, of the world changing... though the terror was also there. I did not know how to please these people who watched me and occasionally responded to me... I said the stupidest things... so much I would take back. If I could go back in time I would have sewn my lips shut, went into a barren room, and wrote my words alone, with no one watching...
I am still enraged by the thought they believed I wanted to be watched. I see their egos then, how they would love to be as popular as they tell me I was/am.... I come on facebook in the spy capacity to try to get my name back. I still believe in my mission, and have sworn never to quit, and to always remind the world of those who died, who the government murdered, and are trying to hide.... I DO NOT expect justice nor want revenge, I just want them remembered somewhere, and those who count read my words, those who knew these people who died, loved them... and I WANT them to know that no matter what they do to my name, I will not be stopped. They can call me whatever they want, they can convince the jews I am a Nazi, which is a pretty damned brutal twisting of reality, like when they convinced the world I am a racist all over again. Or a serial killer, because of comedy I wrote. People use ridiculous methods to try to put me down.
I can see why people have been confused because I worked with groups I did not agree with, the Dogs, which Trump is one, because they brainwashed me... and just used me. There was nothing I could do about this. When I found out I reacted. Did more than anyone else in the underground to protect the Jews, when they were seriously imperiled in the states... to turn on me because I am trying to make a statement about commitment to a cause that says I would work with people to whom I do not share all my beliefs, to save the world. Other things had happened in the past that made this insensitive, to say the least, of me to write. I thought about becoming a Jew and Tia Margarita or whatever that brainwashed web star was called, was then reported all over to be a jew, then a year later she put out an album saying she was a Nazi... such propaganda gets to those who know.
I have to confront their tactics to some degree, though wasting my time on semantics is exactly the kind of thing that has lead us to our present impasse. We need action, not talk. We must have a policy that Jews accept, at least the secular ones... probably the non Zionists, but even them if they will talk reason. I will not allow the hatred of a few media puppets to make me hate jews in general. I am not an idiot, met plenty of Jews who want only the best for the world, whatever.... WE MUST JUDGE INDIVIUALS... \
I BELIEVE in some collective ideas, though they cannot be allowed to impinge on peoples right to free speech.
The stars that addressed me directly thru the tv I OFTEN ignored because it was fucking rude, man... I hated that camera, and for people to suddenly try to interact with me was too much.... Robert Downey Jr. SEEMED to think I did not recognize him, even said, REMEMBER CHAPLIN... which was ridiculous. I just was not expecting people to do that. It only happened once in awhile and God I hated it.
I would be reminded that I was in a zoo by all of it and this was SELFISH AS HELL. I would not have been selfish had I been allowed to know what was really going on.... though I was thinking today of how I am known for hearing about a bunch of deaths and seemingly responding with indifference... which is what people saw, though I had no idea there were people dying... I had no idea why they were trying to use trains and car wrecks.... I thought I was supposed to be doing something, but I did not know what was expected of me.
I think of this period now with dread, and feel again the horror. I have had to back off on my novel for awhile because of the emotions that it brings up... It was good to take a break, look at what worked and didn't.... oh, well. I know what happens now, and can concentrate on poetic lines, symbolism, all the fun stuff.... I have the skeleton, now for the flesh.
Yesterday I wrote about a top secret matter that actually it kind made me afraid to release.... wrote about how after learning how the cia got rid of victims, I quit eating meat.... there is a long story behind this I will never tell. Never. The people who did these actions were flunkies for the people who meddle in everything, the us intelligence agencies. I do not want to rile them up in any way. I will never tell their story. That is a nightmare that there is no use passing on.... the CIA may release it all one day, though I have my doubts the world will last that long...
I thought today about how I am wasting a great education on facebook... I should be doing other things, be in these blogs, which have led to two books, and the collection. I do plan on moving the construction of the books to word. I will turn this blog into a linear collection of stories, some which I will expand upon, others steer way clear from even mentioning. I do not want to get people killed without reason. I cannot believe I am a man who has done so. I see why they looked at me like Charles manson, some... if God had only given me access to those who thought I was a holy man, but though I had it.... I did not know I did. I am not sure what I would have done, if I would have been terrible at leading this group, certainly while being held hostage and not allowed to meet with them, which caused a lot of fighting among these groups. The irony is that I would not have fought with the whites against the blacks.. I would just not want to be involved, and would ask for peace between races....
If people hate me for that, then hey, go ahead... a lot of lives were saved. I regret allowing revenge but... it supposedly ended some of this.
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